Year End Homeschool Program

Some of my favorite memories in school as a kid were the end of the year celebrations. The smell of summer brims with concerts, open houses and celebrations for the kids and their families.  I wanted my kids to have the same experiences and the extended family to feel a part of the magic that home centered education can bring.   I also wanted to share the beautiful art work and school notebooks the kids have worked so hard on throughout the year.    This was a great way to share more about our approach to homeschooling and the weekly community we are a part of.  

 We always visit our hometown at the start of summer.   Luckily, both sets of grandparents live in the same town as well as some cousins.  We invited them over for an art show, presentations and rainbow layered cake!  The kids felt very special and were so excited to show off their memory work skills.  

I primarily follow a Classical Method of teaching with includes the introduction of facts through “memory work” during the elementary school years.  This is the natural age when children are like sponges soaking up knowledge, so the idea is to introduce a  wide variety of facts and in multiple subjects without going into too much detail, unless they show interest.   The details will come later, when they are better able to understand and properly ask questions regarding the material.  We focus on history, Latin, geography, math, English grammar and science.  The kids all shared some facts they were taught in each subject as well as showed off some yearbooks I made to show all we had accomplished during the school year.  

I made the yearbooks very easily off of Simple Prints, it is a photo-book making app, and you can create them right from your phone.  Besides photos, I included curriculum lists, books read, field trips and other enrichment activities we participated in throughout the year.  I also created an art book, with photos of all the art they created and included all the science and history projects we made.  (Now, I don’t feel so guilty throwing some of them away!!) 

I also had awards made for each of the kids in an area I saw growth or a positive character trait I wanted to celebrate.  The kids really enjoyed the fanfare made over them for their hard work this year.  It is not always easy being different and I am glad for the opportunity to see them shine and be proud of their accomplishments. Much laughter was had and I think the family breathed a sigh of relief that the kids had all in fact learned quite a lot this year! 

Do you have any end of the year traditions?  Home-educated or not I would love to hear your ideas!  

xoxo,

Kate

Screen Free, Scream Free Car Trips

I have mentioned before we live away from all our family.  Visiting several times a year, requires a 14 hour road trip....3 kids, 1 dog and me.  My hubby comes along when he can get away, but I travel more often with the kids solo.  I have finally come up with a plan that works in keeping us all sane and happy upon arrival.  These tips will help you have a Screen Free, Scream Free Road Trip.

Now, I haven't always been against screen time in the car.  When my kids were younger, it was the only way we traveled.  A DVD and IPad were essential to a successful car trip.  However, when we started homeschooling I realized how valuable car travel was for learning.  My kids were so engrossed in car screen time, even a trip to the grocery store caused arguing over their desire to watch a TV program.  We were out of control and things needed changed.

I started by borrowing audio books at the library.  The kids enjoyed them and often asked to stay in the car when we arrived back home to finish listening to a chapter.  We started out with The Magic Tree House series and A-Z Mysteries when the kids were 8, 6 and 2.  The chapters were short and I honestly enjoyed the stories too.  We would often talk about the books in-between car trips too, in anticipation for the next chapter.  We still had the DVD in the car, but no one asked to watch it anymore.

Then, about  nine months ago, we started shopping for a newer car with less miles.  We talked about getting out of the minivan club, but after looking at other cars, we just couldn't give of the space and family friendly features.  So, we found a newer model Honda Odyssey with less miles and all the features we wanted except NO DVD!!  Could we really go this extreme?  Car trips to the store were one thing, but what about 14 hours road trips??  We went ahead and purchased the car and immediately my husband wanted to have a DVD  installed.  I didn't want want one, so we decided to wait and see after our first long road trip.

Guess what, we survived!!  All of us, and have traveled this way many times.  Now, it is not even a question of getting a DVD put back in, we are officially a screen free car trip family.    I pretty much feel the same regarding Ipads and portable gaming systems.  We have tried using them on past car trips and  I found they always caused fights and made the kids more irritable and crabby after playing for an extended time.  When we would get to our destination they would wake up wanting to play, theywould become addicted to the screen.  I found the saying,  "out of sight out of mind," to be true of the Nintendo Ds.  If the kids didn't see them, they never asked to play.  I just put them in a cabinet at home and honestly they have never asked where they are, even on road trips.

Now traveling without screens takes a little more planning on your part as a parent.  But it is well worth the effort!  I will share my secrets!

1.  A behavior plan  It is no secret we are a clean eating family.  We avoid sugar and processed food as much as we can.  But because we don't eat junk frequently it becomes a huge motivator for my kids.  So, here is what I do.  Starting a trip I tell my kids the expectations.  They are the obvious rules, no fighting, teasing, whining or distracting the driver (this is very important when you are the only parent/driver.) I also say when we will be stopping, my kids can go 3-4 hours between stops and I found if I tell them the time we will stop, they are less liking to whine, or ask to stop.    Then,  I allot my kids 5-10 dimes each. I place them by me, so I can easily remove one if they break the rules.   Each time they break a rule, a dime gets taken away, they can only earn a dime back by reading for 20 min.  At the end of our stretch in the car, they get the dimes to buy whatever they want at the gas station, or they can save to buy a more expensive treat at the next stop.  I do try and avoid drinks as they can run quickly through little ones, but other then that all treats are ago!  I vary the dimes, because you would be surprised how much junk food you can buy for a dollar.  I found I prefer $.50 each for long trips, because after 4 stops,  I am cringing at the amount of junk they have eaten.   They all get a fresh start  with new dimes after each stop. This is a very good motivator for my kids!  It works great and my kids are ages 4-10.  Just FYI, we still travel with snacks, but they are just healthy choices.

2. Audio books  As I said, my kids love audio books.  I try and pick out titles I will enjoy too and I have found my kids can  all really enjoy and get into much more adult topics then your typical kid titles.  I look for audio books at Thrift Shops, the library and Audible.  Some of our favorite titles have been:

3.  Games and Books  Books are a great travel companion, my oldest will bring his current read, but they all enjoy looking at books with lots of pictures and no story line to follow, since they are usually listening to an audio book.  My absolute favorite books are the DK Eyewitness books.  These come in a variety of topics and are not only educational, but interesting.  Even my 4 year old loves them.  The kids read facts and ask me questions and share pictures with the other kids, we all really love them.  I also love the Leap Tag Reader and books for my 4 year old. As for games think old school, license plate games and roadside bingo.

4. Talk  I find my kids ask a lot of really insightful questions while car traveling, when they are not locked into a screen!  We have lots of fun talks and tell stories and really bond over these car trips.  I hate to think what I would be missing if I just let them stare at a screen for hours, simply so I wouldn't be bothered.

5.  Music  Make a fun  play list, you can all sing too.  I also always play my favorite songs, nothing is more entertaining to a kid than seeing their parent act crazy.

I hope these suggestions help create fun road trip memories for your family.  I encourage you to turn off the screens and enjoy the time with your kids.  If you have any other suggestions, or a favorite game or audio book please share in the comments below.

Have a great trip!!,

Kate

 The links above are affiliate links and while your cost is the same low Amazon price, I will get a small % of the sales, that I can use for more great books and games for my family!

How We Survived Our First Year Homeschooling

If you told me 5 years ago, I would be just a few weeks away from wrapping  up our first year of homeschooling I would have laughed in your face.  While I have been intrigued with the idea since I was young and had cousins that homeschooled, I never thought it would be a reality for our family.   If you want to know what led us down this educational path, read here.  Now, here we are finishing up our first year and we all survived!

The year has been full and satisfying, but also busy and hard.  I imagine it is a bit like running a marathon, lots of hard work and dedication.  At times you want to give up and quit, but the feeling in the end makes it worth it all.    There were days I cried out of frustration over my kids behavior or just being overwhelmed.  But, there were also days I went to bed smiling and satisfied and filled with peace and joy over our schooling choice.  Some days I questioned my methods and my sanity, but than we had days that were so unbelievably wonderful and encouraging that made me feel I was indeed doing the right thing.

Overall, I have been so blessed by this year.   I learned my attitude was key for a successful day.  I needed to be on top of my game and prepared for the days to go best.  I initially had to learn to be more disciplined  with my own time and re-evaluate some of my expectations and ideas on what schooling looked like.

The first few months, were some of the most challenging.  I spent hours prepping, making a daily schedule and lesson planning and I was very discouraged when the boys did not meet my expectations of sitting quietly and happily doing all I asked of them.  In fact, it was the opposite, they questioned every assignment, dickered with me over the amount of work I gave them and ignored my requests.  This was very frustrating,   how dare they not respect my requests,  I am the teacher!   They would never question their teacher at public school, they would save their complaints for home, and I could always just say, "well don't do your work and you can talk to the principal  about it."  That statement held so much power for my kids.   I realized that by homeschooling, I had lost a bigger motivator for my kids.....the dreaded PRINCIPAL!!  

I came to the conclusion that,  we really needed to work on character development and make some changes in how our household was run before the kids would see me in the teacher role, as well as mom.  For our family this is what some of those changes looked like.

1.   Discussing expectations vs. privileges.  My kiddos had a real confusion between expectations  and privileges for living in our home. Once we cleared up the difference and  made a list of the two,  we posted it and talked about them alot. For example, they saw eating out at a restaurant and  treats after dinner as an expectation not a privilege.   Instead, I told them helping set the table and doing schoolwork were  expectations and the others were privileges, that they received when they met our expectations.  I  plan on doing a more detailed post about this.  

2.  No free time or screen time at all until chores and schoolwork were complete.  This became the best motivator for my kids.   

3.  No kids downstairs until 7:30am.     It is as if the kids have a sixth sense as to when I awake and they just can't wait to start our day.  I was burning out quickly, being with them non stop for 14 hours a day.  So I told them not to come down until at least 7:30.  This allowed me  much needed morning "me" time without the constant demands (and hunger) that come from the mouth's of my babes. We are still working on this one.

4.  Me admitting the fact that I wasn't supermom and I couldn't do it all.  We have no family where we live, the closest is 8 hours away!  The kids are with me or my hubby all the time, unless we hire a sitter.   So,  I hired a helper who comes once a week for 4 hours she does some cleaning,  folds all our laundry, and watches the kids if I need her too.  This was a game changer for everyone. Finally, our weekends were not spent doing laundry and cleaning house.  The kids look forward to her visits and she has become like family to us, I am so sad she is going to go college in August.

5.  Have the kids prepare their own breakfast/lunch/snacks several days a week.  Meals just about did me in, with the kids home,  I was responsible for 30 meals or snacks a week!    I decided to have my boys help in that department.  They (mostly my oldest, but the middle is in training)  make eggs, smoothies or waffles, sandwiches, mac and cheese or just fix cereal or have granola bars or snack lunches (sausage, cheese, fruit).   This has been a huge help!! 

6.  Change MY expectations and way of thinking about school.  This was a hard one for me.  I was raised in the public schools and in my mind school looked very different then what homeschool can look like.  The first several months I was trying to recreate "school" in my house.  I wanted the kids to sit still at the table and desk, quietly finish all work without complaints, and not balk at my demands to not only do the lessons I had created or purchased but ALSO do all the stuff a typical 2nd and 4th was learning at PS (just in case they went back, I wanted them to know what other kids their age were learning.)  We were all exhausted.   Our days were so crammed with worksheets and busy work no one was enjoying learning.  I finally re-evaluated our chosen curriculum (the one I spent hours preparing and organizing over the summer) and deemed it not a good fit for our very active boys and stopped worrying about what PS was teaching.   I embraced that learning can be fun and the reason I choose to homeschool was because I loved the idea of education fitting my  unique child's learning style and custom fitting it to their interests and levels. 

7.  Get support!  In November, I knew something had to change, or we were not going to make it through the year.  I was frazzled and frustrated.  I decided to visit a local  Classical Conversation, group that meets weekly and follows a Classical approach to homeschooling. This meant completely changing my approach to homeschooling and I found  a mix between  the Charlotte Mason and Classical approach to be a better fit for our family.  After we decided to join this group,  things greatly improved.  We all loved seeing the same families each week and the kids enjoyed class so much.  I got a much needed break during the week and most of all I saw my kids start to love learning!  I  began to relish my time spent with other homeschool moms.  It was therapeutic to sit and chat with other moms facing the same challenges and concerns.  We shared ideas and encouraged each other and it was a tremendous help!!

At year's end, I reflect on how much I have seen my children grow.  For the first time in 4 years, I see my middle son more then a child with a "label" that needs "fixed"  because he doesn't fit the expectation public school had for him.  He has excelled more in the last nine months then I have ever seen.  He is bright, kind, inquizative, funny, loving, polite and absolutely LOVES learning and has the most incredible memory.  I constantly find him reading history books and connecting facts he has learned with real life situations.   Once the labels and expectations for how children "should behave and learn" were removed, this little guy excelled in major ways.  

As for my older son, while he enjoyed and did fine in public school, what I have seen improve in him is a huge change in attitude.  His self confidence has increased, his attitude has improved greatly from being self-centered and difficult to more caring and helpful.  Even family and neighbors have commented on it. He has become more dependable, creative and self aware of his behavior and actions.

 My kids have spent hours in imaginative play, building forts, making up games, building bridges and studying rocks or just exploring the outdoors .  The amount of screen time they desire or seek out is minimal and mostly happens on Saturday morning, like when I was a kid.  

And don't even get me started on the social aspect of their lives.  I know this is always the concern to people who don't homeschool, but this is another area we have seen tremendous growth for both our boys, all while homeschooling!  My older son has has grown so much in learning what it means to be a good friend, being caring and compassionate towards others and most of all blessing others with his talents and gifts.  While my middle son has improved on conversation skills and listening attentively and more age appropriate behavior in social settings as well as developing friendships with others.   The improvements for both of them in this area, is the biggest blessing to our family....all achieved while homeschooling!

As for our overall family life, things are not so rushed and hectic.  Some evenings are spent lingering over dinner or hanging out together watching TV or playing outside.  The morning rush has been replaced with book reading, game playing or outdoor adventures before school starts.    My boys have become best buddies and have so many more responsibilities around the home.  I thoroughly enjoy teaching my kids and re-educating myself.  For the first time, I am developing a love for learning too.  I find history fascinating and have spent a few nights refreshing my fraction skills to prep for 4th grade math.    I see real purpose and self-worth in my new job as teacher and how important and blessed I am to have the opportunity to educate my children in a very personal way.  

This is not to say, homeschooling made my kids or family perfect, we still have good days and bad days, but the improvement I have seen in all of us this year has been very evident and encouraging.  The bonds we have made as a family unit far out weigh the hard days. 

My oldest son just walked in and asked what I was blogging about, when I told him our first year homeschooling, he said, " are you going to tell them how it has made me a more kinder person and how much I have learned  and that I actually like school now and how close it has made our family." "Yes, I said all that!"  I told him.  It 's moments like that, that make up for the worst days, make it all worth it. 

Homeschooling has been wonderful for us this year.  I don't know how long it will be the best fit for our family, but for right now it is working and the kids are not only learning, but thriving.  As of right now, we plan on continuing with it again next year for all the kids.  


Kate

My Family's Journey With Autism -Part 3

This is a series of posts telling my family's journey with autism.  Click here to  read part 1 and part 2.


So, my son was 3 and just was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder and I nor anyone in the tiny town I lived in had ever heard of it.  So, I researched it like a mad women.  I started developing a sensory diet for my son.  This has nothing to do with food, it is a personalized activity plan to help my son stay focused and organized during the day.  We also went to OT, but I had to drive 1 1/2 hours for it and so we only went every 2 weeks.

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD, formerly known as "sensory integration dysfunction") is a condition that exists when sensory signals don't get organized into appropriate responses. Pioneering occupational therapist and neuroscientist A. Jean Ayres, PhD, likened SPD to a neurological "traffic jam" that prevents certain parts of the brain from receiving the information needed to interpret sensory information correctly. A person with SPD finds it difficult to process and act upon information received through the senses, which creates challenges in performing countless everyday tasks. Motor clumsiness, behavioral problems, anxiety, depression, school failure, and other impacts may result if the disorder is not treated effectively.

Then, in a two week time period, my husband was offered a job in Georgia (we currently lived in Missouri) and I found out I was pregnant!   Both ended up being the biggest blessing, but I was frustrated, tired and overwhelmed.   We have moved about every 2-3 years for my husband's company.  Thankfully, his company hires people to  pack and unpack our home, so as far as moving goes, we have it pretty easy.

Luckily, we were also moving back to a town, we had lived in 3 years before, it was where both my sons were born.  We joked with our wonderful doctor, that we came back, just so he could deliver my daughter.

Weeks after we found out we were moving,  I remembered a unique school called Challenged Child and Friends was located in this town.   They were an early intervention program for children with special needs and the classes were integrated with typical children.   I remember looking at their website and reading they helped children with Sensory Processing concerns and I started crying.  I felt like I was finally going to get support and help.   We couldn't move to Georgia fast enough.  God had provided us with just what we needed!

We moved to Georgia in the summer of 2009.  My oldest was to start Kindergarten and my middle son would start preschool 5 days a week for 3 hours a day.  I finally had a safe, understanding, educational facility that I felt comfortable leaving my child.  For the first time, I did not feel like an outsider, my child fit in, there was nothing he did that shocked the teachers, he had support and I finally had a much need break.  We found out we were having a girl and I was thrilled.   We purchased a beautiful home near my husbands work, so he could be home more and things were starting to look up!

After we got settled, I took my son to the new pediatrician, gave her the low down of my son's health and development history and she recommended going to see another developmental pediatrician.   The waiting list was 9 months, so we made the appointment  and waited.

Right before my daughter was born, my son had been gluten free for almost 2 years.  We started introducing dairy about a year before and saw no change in his development or digestion, however he refused to drink milk and still does to this day.  So, we introduced gluten and again did not see any major changes.  It was a relief to be off such a restrictive diet.  The holistic doctor we were seeing, said, due to my son's digestive problems at birth and the case of Salmonella this made it harder for him to digest dairy and gluten.  Allowing the gut to heal for an extended period of time allowed him to be able to tolerate the harder to digest foods again. This belief was reconfirmed when I read the book, Gut and Psychology Syndrome a few months ago. 

 While we were seeing progress, we still had many concerns, he was still very sensory seeking.   It was exhausting, it was just too hard for him to sit still.  Going to the store would require a 30 min pre-leave sensory diet, so he wouldn't be dis-organized in the store.

He also still struggled with conversations.   Back and forth meaningful conversations were really difficult for him.  He was great at asking for things he wanted or needed, but if you asked him a who, what, when, where or why question, he would often ignore you.  It was very frustrating and it was hard to connect with him.  He was happy and very loving, but it was like pulling teeth to get him to have a conversation with you.  He often would repeat movie lines if you asked him a question or give you a totally off the wall answer.

He was getting speech and occupational therapy, we did sensory diets,  body brushing, therapeutic listening and stayed away from as many artificial dyes, colors and preservatives in our food.  He took fish oil, probiotics and a multivitamin daily.  He never complained and honestly it was harder convincing others why I didn't want him to eat junk food. I have linked articles to these ways of treating behavior concerns, if you want to read more information. 

Most of all during this time period, I made the biggest change.  I stopped feeling sorry for myself and embraced this was our way of life.  The way I envisioned myself as a mother and family was shifting.  I no longer desired to be all Martha Stewarty when it came to birthday parties or with my home, the luxury of free time was not in my hands.   I stopped desiring joining a country club or volunteering for Jr. League, this lifestyle was simply not in my cards.   I became more humble and focused on just making it through another week.  I came to realize I was my children's  most important advocate and teacher and that trumped everything else.

I also saw so many families around me at his school everyday, in much more difficult circumstances.  Children that would never walk or talk and kids with severe learning and behavior problems.   A child in my son's class, was burned from a fire and had no hands or legs.  She smiled and spoke to me every time I dropped off my son.  I started feeling blessed to only be dealing with a child that was impulsive and struggles with conversation skills and sensory processing.

 Every night I went to bed, knowing my son loved me, because I heard the sweet words from his lips and  felt his tiny arms wrap around me in an embrace, not all parents are so blessed. 

Though we still had many unanswered questions, I knew God sent me to this school to be filled with compassion and hope.  It was just what I needed to prepare me for I what our new Developmental Pediatrician would have to say.

Stay tuned for part 4.............

 

My Family's Journey With Autism -Part 2

I'm back for part 2.  For those of you just reading this, start here.

So, I was with my 3 year old and 20 month old at the Pediatric Ophthalmologist.  I had taken my son in for a drifting eye.  I was feeling a bit Munchauseny at this point for taking my son to yet another doctor.  The doctor was lovely, but I immediately knew something was wrong when she got not 1, but 3 colleagues to come take a look at my son's eyes.  She said very calmly.

"Your son has unusually large optic nerves, we typically see this with brain tumors.  I'm sure he is fine, but we need to schedule an MRI anyway. Oh, and he is extremely far sighted and needs glasses and has a lazy eye that needs patched daily." 

I felt like I was being punched in the stomach.  I felt my world spinning around me, at the same time I had 2 crying kids complaining they were starving and had to go potty.  I'm not sure how I even made it back to the car.  I remember calling my husband who was at work and in between sobs telling him the news.

I pulled it together and went to the nearest Lens Crafters and bought my son his much needed glasses.   As I got to the mall, I had 2 crabby kids and I was feeling like the worst mom on the planet for not knowing my child needed glasses.  They had 1 pair to choose from for toddlers and they looked huge on him.  They also couldn't do anything special to the lenses to make them NOT look like coke bottles and they were thick!  In about an hour, they brought them to me and I teared up as I put them on my sweet boy.  But God knew this was hard on me and he provided me with the sweetest gift.  Up to this point, my son had not yet called me mama.  But as soon as I put those glasses on him, he looked at me, cupped my face with his hands and looked me square in the eyes and said "MAMA.

We went home and the next 4 weeks were a blur, as that's how long we had to wait to have an MRI.  I tried my hardest to not research brain tumors, but any human with a computer knows how that goes.  I prayed and prayed.  For me, this was a point in my faith when a peace passed over me and I knew whatever it was, it would be ok.  We were able to special order some better fitting glasses with thinner lenses.  He looked stinking adorable with his glasses.  I heard so many horror stories about toddlers and glasses and he was a dream, he never complained and in the beginning didn't even mind patching. 

Finally, the day arrived for the MRI and we had to leave our home at 5 am for a 7 am appointment.  My hubby and 3 year old came with us.  They gave our son something to help him relax and if I remember correctly the procedure only took about 30 min.  Thankfully, God answered our prayers and he did not have a brain tumor.  It is noted that he has "unusually large optic nerves" and they said if he ever goes to the emergency room for head trauma, be sure to tell them this, because they will think swelling of the brain is causing it. 

By this point, my sweet boy was not even 2 and I had had about enough of the medical community freaking me out, only to leave me with no answers.  I started taking his health in my own hands.  I researched and found a Gastroenterologist that offered testing  from home for food intolerance and digestive issues.  I was desperate for answers and ordered them right away.  At the time, this felt a bit weird and strange, but the standard medical community was at a loss of what to do.  Now, this was right about the time "healing" autism was starting to pick up steam, but the websites and blogs were not saturated with info like today.  Also, this holistic, type of medicine, is very expensive and insurance does not cover it.  My pediatrician, told me not to waste my money, but any mother with a sick child knows that sort of advice doesn't hold clout with a mother looking for answers.  

I saved some poop and sent off the tests.  The results were that he had an intolerance to gluten, dairy and soy.  On his second birthday I took away all three foods from his diet.  What happened next amazed even the naysayer doctors.

 It was like a light switch went off.  My son started talking and in a 2 month time period, went from a 6 month language delay, to no delay at all.  He went from being clingy and lethargic to the Energizer bunny!  He was into everything.  He explored  everything.  The Pediatrician was really amazed, but would never admit it was the diet, she just thought he was a late bloomer.  After 3 months on this diet, he was able to stop iron supplements and for the first time since he had Salmonella had normal looking poop.    His growth pattern did not improve, he was still in the 1% in height and weight.  Those of you that know me personally, know I am a itty bitty thing.  I'm 100 lbs and 5'2 .  But even so, the smallest my kids should be is in the 30% they said.  So this was still a concern.

So they sent us to be tested by Endocrinology.   At our local children's hospital they wanted us to put our son on Human Growth Hormone, at the tune of $3000 a month.  Of course, insurance would pay for 80%, but still, that is a shot EVERYDAY for the next 15 years.  Since he did not have a growth hormone deficiency, this was purely cosmetic and he may only achieve 1-3 inches in added height.

So, I hopped on a plane to John Hopkins, for a second opinion.  I decided early on, when one doctor tells me to do something drastic to my child, I will find the best doctor in the field in the country and see if they agree.  Guess what, he didn't.. he said,

 "don't do growth hormone yet,  your son is in the 1%, someone has to be.  If you want more answers go to a Geneticist. "

  
At this point, my son was 2 1/2.  In the small town I lived in "everyone" put there kids in a mother's day out program.  I was desperate for a break.  With no family in town and a hubby that worked a long hours, not much time was spared for me to get a break My husband was a great help when he was home, but at this point we were both physically and emotionally drained.

 You see, even play dates were exhausting, my son, would not just play at others homes, he would tour them, opening every cabinet and door.  Get in showers, crawl up stairs, climb in laundry baskets. It was actually more work to be at someone else's home.  Unless the TV was on, my son was getting in something and he was quite as a mouse.  I used to put bells on his shoes, just so I could find him.  I would call and call his name and he would answer, but in a normal tone, so unless I had found him, I couldn't hear him.  He was also fearless, which is scary in a 2 year old.  He would love to climb and jump off things, the higher the better.  He was like a little monkey.  So I jumped at the chance to get 4 hours free a week.  But it turned out to be harder on me emotionally then keeping him home. 

The first week of preschool, he quietly left the classroom and was found about to leave the building, by a secretary of the church, the teacher did not even know he had gone.  He had to be watched like a hawk!  He had many sensory issues, of course at the time I had never heard of this and I had no idea what was going on with him.  The best way I know how to describe him was he had to do things "harder" then others to get the same feel.  He often stomped when he walked, hugged someone until they fell over, kissed til he
 bit,  and was like a ping pong ball bouncing off the walls.  

It didn't help,  that to me, his class seemed very calm and well behaved.  It made me feel all the more out of place and this is when the comparison to other children bothered me the most.  I felt like "that mom".  You know, the one I often thought had no control over their child.  The child, that every mother in preschool loathed, because they were often the cause of  their child's tears.  It is a very lonely, humbling place to be as a mother.  Everyday I would pick him up with a sense of dread. What are they going to tell me he did now?

I lived in a very small town, the resources were nonexistent.  I needed help, but didn't know what to do.  We had no diagnosis and my son did not have enough of a delay to qualify for the early intervention program.  We saw results with the gluten and dairy free diet, but it was hard to implement (remember this was 5 years ago in a small town, I would have to order everything online and drive 1 1/2 hours for bread).  We were also seeing a holistic doctor and while she was helpful, her prices were insane and not covered by insurance.  

During this time, we also lived in a home that was like the money pit....that is another series in itself....but at this particular moment, on Christmas Eve, we had a frozen water pipe burst and do $35,000 worth of damage and cause 6 weeks of remodeling on our home (thank God for insurance).  To say the least it was very stressful on both me and my husband.  

We went back to the Developmental Pediatrician, when he turned 3.  He said...

I think he is one of those kids, that is borderline, he doesn't really fit in any diagnostic box, if anything he has signs of ADHD, but is really to young to be sure.    Just keep doing what your doing.  There is no reason to come back and see me again, until he is school age.  

Again, I was relieved, but I wanted answers.   By the end the school year, the teacher  pulled me aside and suggested I take him to be evaluated by an Occupational therapist.  She diagnosed him with Sensory Processing Disorder.  I finally had a lead and bought every book I could on the subject. 

I knew my son needed support and it became up to me to give it too him, then God did the most amazing thing, just when I was at my lowest point!  

Stay tuned for part 3......

 

My Family's Journey With Autism- Part 1

April is Autism Awareness month. Autism Spectrum Disorders affects 1-88 children in the US.     For those of you that don't know, autism has affected my family's life.    We have all grown and stretched in ways I never would have thought possible without these trials in our life.  I have become a completely different person then I thought I would be as a mother.  It has been a hard journey, I have cried many tears and lost my temper in frustration when  answers were not given. We have felt things that parents of typically developing children may never feel.   I have avoided play dates and social outings, because I couldn't stand to be around "typical" kids.   I have laid awake at night in fear of what the future holds for my son. I have felt ashamed that I would feel these things, when I have seen many other parents deal with much greater and devastating challenges with their special needs children.

 But I can say after 7 years with him and his health and development challenges, I'm feeling more positive then ever!  This journey has made us (and our marriage) stronger, wiser, more compassionate and most of all,  even more grateful for this special little boy God has blessed us with.  I feel the need to share our story, to offer families hope, who are placed in similar situations and share what we have done to help our son reach his highest potential.
 

As a precursor to our story, we moved to a new state, due to a job transfer, when my son was 2 weeks old, I also had a 22 month old. I did not know a soul in the town we were moving too and family lived a couple hours away.   As an infant, my son was tiny, 1% in height and weight.  He suffered from severe acid reflux and from the time he was a few weeks old we started seeking medical treatment.  He would  throw up huge amounts after every feeding and at night he often choked on his vomit, leaving me too many sleepless nights.  He slept on me the first 4 months, simply, so I would awake with any choke, cough or quiver.


We sought treatment for his acid reflux and tried medication and special formulas, even though he was breastfed, thinking he was allergic to my milk.  Nothing really helped, but time.  Then to everyone's astonishment, he contracted Salmonella at 5 months old.  He was only breastfed during this time.  Doctors were baffled how he could have contracted this.  The best scenario they could come up with, was it was during the peanut butter Salmonella outbreak and I ate PB all the time, they think I got it, but didn't have a bad reaction and passed it in my breast milk to him.  He had 10 days of bloody diarrhea,  but no treatment was given. One week after he recovered, he was given 5 vaccinations.  At the time I remember asking my doctor if we should wait until he had fully recovered and his reply, was, "do you want him to get sick again?"  I uncomfortably agreed to give him his vaccinations, but to this day I regret it.  
 

Do I think vaccinations caused my son's health issues?  The short answer is yes, I believe they played a part.   I believe because my son had digestive problems from birth and the Salmonella exasperated his gut problems.   Then, when given the vaccinations on an already stressed immune system, his body struggled to recover, causing developmental issues. I have recently read the book by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride called Gut and Psychology Syndrome.  For me, it was like all the pieces of the puzzle falling into place, including my health prior to getting pregnant.   You can read more about it here.  I highly recommend it if you have a child with digestive and development issues.  Now, before you freak out, I want to say, I believe vaccinations are fine for healthy babies.  My older son has had all his vaccinations and my daughter is on a revised schedule.   But, in telling you my story, I do believe they played a role. 
 

At his 9 month checkup, they checked his iron and found it very low, they were supposed to do this at 6 months and "forgot".  They had us come back immediately for further testing and prescribed him with extremely high doses of iron supplements. At 12 months, they were concerned at his delayed language skills and his continued 1% growth, they called him failure to thrive.  At 1 he weighed 17 lbs!!  We had started seeing a new doctor after the iron incident and she wanted to start testing him for many different issues, including Cystic Fibrosis, Celiac disease and liver problems. For 5 months my poor little baby was subjected to pokes and testing that made me cringe and all the tests came back normal.   I spent hours researching his symptoms and praying.  I remember the night before he had an upper GI, holding him in my arms crying out to God to heal him or find answers.  This was my hardest stage to date as a mother.  I had no control and my little baby could not tell me what was wrong, it was a very hopeless feeling.  I couldn't give up and not keep searching for answers, when clearly something was wrong.

After the upper GI, which caused my son to stop breathing and they had to give him a tracheal intubation, the doctor came out with the wrong test results (this was at a very well know children's hospital! ).  After finding the correct records, they gave us a diagnosis, Eosinophillic Gastroenteritis.  I was overjoyed, we finally had   a diagnosis.  I immediately found the leading hospital in the country that dealt with Eosinophilic disorders and made an appointment.  Before accepting my son as a patient, they wanted to review all tests and medical records.  Two weeks later I received a call from the head doctor's office, that they WOULD NOT see us, because my son, did not meet the criteria for Eosinoplillic Gastroenterisits.  I felt crushed.  I went back to the Children's hosptial in our area and they basically disagreed with the leading specialist in the country.    They said they have run every test they can and if it's not this, they don't know what it is. I was discouraged and upset and stopped seeing them.

Meanwhile, my son was still not absorbing ample iron even with massive doses.   After receiving his 18 month vaccinations  he stopped waving and playing patty cake.(yes, I gave him more vaccines, after another gut feeling I shouldn't, the doctor said, he would be fine and I believed him.)  I felt like I was, "damned if I do, damned if I don't." He had constant dark circles, cligned to me at all times and sucked his fingers.  He was very loving, content and easy going, but I could  tell he didn't feel well.   I made an appointment with a Developmental  Peditrican and when they heard his symptoms a 6 month waiting time, shrunk to a 2 week wait. 

When we arrived at the doctor, we sat on the floor and the doctor graciously spent 2 hours talking to me and interacting with my son.  His impression was:

"A language delay possibley due to a nutritional/allergic component, which would be difficult to confirm.  He does not meet or even approach criteria for Autism Spectrum Disorder at present.  Cognitive delay is not present."

I breathed a sigh of relief, but was still frustrated because we did not have any answers.  We called the birth to three program in our area to see if we could get services in the form of speech therapy and my son did not qualify.  We then took the liberty of hiring a developmental therapist out of pocket, who came once a week and worked with him. 

 I spent all my free time researching and watching episodes of Mystery Diagnosis, looking for answers.  Then, around 20 months,  I started noticing  his right eye drift in every once in a while.  I can remember being embarrassed to call yet another doctor, but I also new I couldn't ignore it.  I made an appointment with a Pediatric Ophthalmologist.   I made the long trip with my 2 kids in tow, hoping for a "he's fine, you are overreacting."  I was not at all prepared for what they were going to tell me.


Click here for part 2.............................