Last night at church, during women's bible study, the minister’s wife introduced us to a women who just started going to our church and was going through hard times, she had been living in her car and had just gotten an apartment, but had nothing. She requested that if we had any household items we could donate to her, then to bring them to the church.
I immediately thought of
a kitchen table we didn’t use and a TV that was sitting in the basement we
wanted to sell on Craig’s List. After
church, I thought I would contact the minister’s wife to see the best way to get
larger items to the women. However, on
my way to pick up the kids, I saw the women and thought I would just talk to her
about it. She said she had a car and could
meet me tomorrow to pick up the TV. She didn’t
seem interested in the table. We
arranged to meet the next morning.
I hauled the TV and an old TV stand to my car and went to meet her this morning at church. She was waiting in the parking lot when I arrived. She helped me transfer the TV and stand, then
she asked if I knew of any places that offered services for gas cards and cell
phone service to those in need. I told her no, but I would ask around. I asked if she had any family nearby and she
said no, she had recently left her abusive husband, she had no children.
She commented the TV was
heavy and I asked her if she would have anyone to help her get it in her
apartment. She said, “No.” I quickly glanced at her car to see a broken
window replaced with plastic and knew she couldn’t leave the TV in her
car. However, it also crossed my mind,
that I, who weighs 100 pounds, carried the TV up a flight of stairs from
my basement and loaded it in my car by myself. I really was not comfortable with going to her
apartment to help her (I had my 2 year old with me), but I offered to follow
her home and help her carry it in. She
said she had to stop by another church and pick up some things before she went
home. I said “ok” and I got in my car. I looked for some cash to give her for gas,
but I barely had a dollar in change. The pastor of our church pulled into the
lot and spoke with her while I was waiting to follow her home.
While, I was in my car, I immediately started
thinking of a way out. She told me where
she lived and I knew enough to know it wasn’t a desirable part of town. Call
me a snob, judgmental or paranoid, but I was a little panicky. I have
watched enough Lifetime movies, to imagine her abusive ex-husband angry and waiting
for her at her apartment. I also thought of my daughter in the backseat, what was I going to do with her if
this was a “rough” neighborhood while I carry in a TV. I wanted her in the car, in case I needed to make
a quick get away, but I couldn’t leave her in the car in a “rough” neighborhood.”
While I was waiting for the women to finish speaking with the pastor, I immediately called my husband, but he didn’t answer. I needed someone to talk some sense into me and to be informed of where I was going. Alone, with my thoughts, the thought crossed my mind to tell her I had gotten a call and had to leave, but I didn’t. Instead I prayed!
A few minutes later, she got in her car and
started down the road. We had not been
driving for more than five minutes, when she pulls to the side of the road and
gets out of the car. She walks up to me
and says, she didn’t need me to come with her anymore, she needed to stop and get gas. She thanked
me for the TV and got in her car.
I must
admit I was relieved, but I also felt shameful.
Should I have offered to go to the gas station with her and fill up
her tank, then gone to her apartment and help her carry in the TV. Was God answering my prayers or asking me to
do more, give more, pull me out of my comfort zone? Honestly, I think if
I did not have my toddler with me, I would have been willing to offer
more. But I felt the need to make a safe
decision for my child too. Is my fearful attitude, stopping me from showing God's love?
What do you think? What would you have done?
What do you think? What would you have done?
I think that you were tested to see how far you would go and proved that even if you are scared you are willing to try. I do think she might have been as scared to let you into her own world too. Imagine how hard it was to leave the relationship, and to have nothing and work up the courage to ask for help in the first place. Then you get help and meet someone so willing to help you; she may have been overwhelmed.
ReplyDeleteI think do did everything right.
Jessica, thanks so much for your input. How selfish of me to not think, she may have been just as uncomfortable. I appreciate your comment!
DeleteI think the way you felt was normal. Mama instincts always kick in when you have one of your children in tow. What you did was generous. I don't think you should beat yourself up about it. Yes, you could sve gotten her gas and yes you could have insisted on helping her at the apartment. The fact that she pulled over and told you she didn't need your help could have been God giving you an answer. Who knows if something may have happened to put you or Brooke in danger? I think Jessics is right.. It may have been to overwhelming for her to get do much help. She may have been self conscious of you seeing where she lives. She may have been just as afraid. I think in times of fear or being out of your comfort zone-- you must pray and you did. I do believe that God will give you protection. I think that if you had gone he would have kept you safe in reaching out to help someone in need. We have ministered to homeless even with our kids and most have mental illness. It's is scary but I feel God present in those times. It is great that you were willing to go and as I said- her telling you not to go further may have been God's answer to your anxious prayers. I am sure she appreciated all the help you offered!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting Jess, I was so worried about how i was feeling, i never realized she may feel nervous about it too. Thanks for another perspective.
DeleteI'm sure she felt embarrassed for you to see where or how she was living. On the flip side (I am always skeptical working in the hood as I long as I did) maybe she wasn't as bad off as she was portraying and didn't want you to see that. You saying she wasn't wanting the table made me think that could be a possibility. It was nice of you to offer the table, however with B in the car you should not have gone. Gut instincts are almost always right! There is no reason to chance it. You showed generosity/love by going out of your way to donate to her---that is enough! I'm hoping Jeff is talking about kicking your ass the next time you think of going into a "rough" neighborhood!! :)
ReplyDeleteDitto what Tammy said! :O)
ReplyDelete