This was a big one for me. I am great at telling my family what they need to do to change, but guess who really needs to change...me! I am the queen of bringing home a book like, "How To Have a New Husband by Friday," or "Parenting The Strong-Willed Child". I thought I was the only one doing it right and everybody else was wrong. Then, one day it hit me like a ton of bricks, maybe its not them that needs changing, maybe its me!!!
This epiphany has made me more tolerable of what I used to think were my husband and kids shortcomings. I stopped thinking my husband was purposely ignoring the laundry that needed folded because he was lazy, but he actually didn't know I wanted him to do it. He's not programmed too, just like I'm not programmed to kill a snake. When my son comes home from school grumpy and moody, its not because he wants to get under my skin, he has had a bad day and probably needs to talk, he just not great at communicating that.
With my experience in my family boys/men are not communicators and planners like women. Having a daughter has made this so much clearer to me. My almost 3 year old girl will see trash on the floors and throw it away, my boys would step over it. She will ask what we are going to do for the day, my boys will sit around until I tell them what to do. Men and women are a completely different species. While women are more list makers and planners, men are more go with the flow and easygoing. I have come to terms that neither of us are necessary wrong, we just need to be more accepting of our differences and stop taking things so personally.
Men need more direction when it comes to things like housework and planning activities with the kids. But the key is not to sound naggy and bossy. In return, men need to know we are emotional and sensitive and when you laugh at our To Do list or our hour to hour plan of attacking Disney World, we will probably cry. We may get our feelings hurt at the drop of a hat and cry that Christina on Parenthood has cancer. Just deal with it boys, we know it is only a show and she doesn't really have cancer, but you don't have to look at us like we are nuts every week.
Stop trying to change everyone, change your way of thinking and you will be surprised of the bliss you will find.
This is a 31 day series to read more, click here.
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