About 7 years ago I had come across a bible verse that I read and thought of as a great prayer for my children. I wrote it on a piece of paper and placed it on my fridge. Shortly after, we moved and I accidentally left that piece of paper on my fridge. Over the years I thought about that verse and couldn't for the life of me remember what it was. I remembered bits and pieces of the verse, but not where it was located, or long phrases of it, more of the general idea about what it was saying. I have searched for it many times and have never come across it again.
In preparation to home school my children, I have been reading many books about the subject and one author recommended writing a mission statement for your family. This made me think about that bible verse I had found many years ago, it went along perfectly with educating your children.
This morning, I woke up and immediately thought about it and tried researching it again, but came up with nothing. I said a prayer and asked God to help me find it again. After that I went and picked up my iPhone to read my daily bible verse and message from the You Version app. I am signed up for several bible studies and try and read at least one daily. Today I clicked on the Parenting By Design study. This is what I read for today June 2:
DISCERNMENT
Paul's prayer for the Philippians could easily be our prayer for our kids. Who doesn't want their children to abound in knowledge and insight and be pure and blameless, making decisions that reflect God's righteousness? How will you help them reach those lofty goals?
One way is to give your kids more choices and opportunities to learn from hands-on experience. Good decision making isn't learned overnight. Your kids may have to make some poor choices along the way before they will know how to make good ones. Obviously, you won't give them just any choice because they should only be given choices you are willing for them to make. But the opportunities to give significant choices are endless.
Practice with little choices for little kids and more expanded choices as kids mature. Walk beside them as they get their hands dirty. Enjoy the process!
Kids who are encouraged to make lots of appropriate choices gain knowledge, insight, and discernment.
My heart started beating faster and I got chills, I knew as soon as I clicked on the selected bible verse that went along with this message, the verse I had been searching for was going to be presented before my eyes. These words were a perfect description about the verse I had remembered and was perfectly tied into my same ideas about homeschooling. This is what I read:
I pray that your love will grow more and more. And let it be based on knowledge and understanding. Then you will be able to know what is best. You will be pure and without blame until the day Christ returns. You will be filled with the fruit of right living produced by Jesus Christ. All of those things bringing glory and praise to God. Philippians 1:9-11
This was the verse, the one I had prayed for God to reveal to me not more then 5 minutes before! I ran to get my bible and flipped to that verse and found it marked in my bible.
How cool is that! I ran and told my son what had happened and he was like, "wow, God answered that quick." Then I called my husband, who was out of town and he was amazed too.
God is listening and nothing is too small for him. After that experience, there is no way I will be forgetting that verse again!
My son was now 5 1/2. We decided to buy ourselves another year, by enrolling him in 1/2 day kindergarten at a private school and in the afternoon being part of the public schools pre-k program. This was the best of both worlds in my opinion and turned out to be a great choice for him too.
Since we moved, we lost the wonderful facility where he was getting speech and occupational therapy. But he was doing so well in both areas, we decided to take a break and see how he did without it. We created a sensory room in our home, with a rock climbing wall, swing and many manipulatives they used at therapy, so I was confident we could do sensory therapy at home if needed.
His first day of school, I was a basket case. I cried my eyes out. I remember sitting in the car, thinking how far he has come. I was so proud of him. He made friends and he had a fun personality that even the older kids in the school knew who he was. School work came easy for him, except for handwriting. It was totally illegible . One time when questioned, by the teacher, about what his paper said, he looked at her and said, "Can't you read Spanish?" He has a funny, quirky personality that others really liked and won most of his teachers over with his silly remarks and loving ways.
Even though, he was doing well, his attention span still suffered and he processed information slower then others. So, he might get his pencil and paper out 5 mins after the teacher said to and was always falling behind in schoolwork He also, didn't see the point of doing work that he already knew the answer to in his head.
Right after he turned 6, which is in the middle of the school year, if was time for another yearly evaluation. This time the doctor said:
he does not technically meet criteria for Autism or Asperger's (you can't technically be diagnosed with Asperger's with a history of language delay), so I would diagnosis him with PDD-NOS, though only very mildly affected. I feel his difficulties, come from Attention Deficient Disorder.
One of her suggestions, was medication. Now, I know many people achieve great results with medication, but I am not willing to jump on that bandwagon, just yet. I believe their is a strong correlation, between what we put into our body and our behavior. Since we had moved I had yet to find a holistic doctor in the area and when I researched, I was blessed to find a DAN, Defeat Autism Now, doctor down the street from my son's school. We made an appointment and were relieved to hear this doctor did not want to run anymore tests. His advice was, we left out some critical steps when treating him the first time the tests were run and that was completely healing the gut and chelation, the removal of heavy metals and toxins, through chelating agents.
Now, chelating, is a very controversial step in "healing"autism and I was scared to try it. I had a close friend's son have a bad reaction to the same chelating agent that my son was going to use. I do not advise doing this on your own, but only under an experienced doctors watch. My son, however, had no ill side effects.
So the first step was to completely heal the gut. My son was given many healing herbal supplements to take, as well as his continued use of probiotics, fish oils and supplements to support his neurotransmitters. Though we had avoided artificial flavors, colors and additives, I still bought a majority of our food processed. We starting eating as much "real" food as possible, minimally processed and as much organic as possible. We saw amazing changes during this time period.
He had even more impressive gains in social and communication skills. He desired to play sports and stayed focused during the game. He went from wanting to watch TV or play video games all the time to knocking on the neighbors doors to organize a soccer game. He had more energy and focus at home and school. His handwriting improved dramatically and he started to enjoy activities like coloring and drawing. It was like a different kid at home and at school. His teacher even asked if we put him on medication.
Now, we were at the next school year, the one we are presently in now. We decided to put him in all day kindergarten at public school, even though academically he was ready for first grade. We thought, he fit in better socially with the younger kids. He enjoys school, his teachers are great and he has fairly good behavior. He stills struggles with doing work, if he already knows the answers. He is less impulsive and can focus on his school work with minimal redirection.
We had seen such great improvements and now it was time for chelation therapy. I was nervous for this, but, we decided to continue anyway, after I found out the doctor used this supplement on his own kids. We started chelating in December of 2012 and took the supplement for 3 weeks. I can honestly say, we had no ill side effects, but we also didn't see any major changes either. He was still the kid I described in the paragraphs above. So, we actually just finished his second and final round of chelation. He is currently only on fish oil, probiotics and a multivitamin. I do give him digestive enzymes if we eat fast foods, or processed foods. We continue to eat 80% "real" foods. Which means I prepare or make 80% of what we eat. He does get birthday treats at school and eats the school lunch a couple times a week, but at home, things are pretty healthy and mostly homemade. He does not receive any speech or occupational therapy outside of what he gets a school, which is minimal. He is still little and remains in the 1% for height.
He turned 7 in January and it was time for his yearly evaluation, this time I found a group, through a friend, called the National Association of Childhood Development, they evaluate children and based on their strengths and weaknesses develop a program that is led by the parents to help them achieve there greatest potential. Their educational director, said my son was
"highly intelligent with auditory processing difficulties"
They sent us home with activities and a program we can do to help him make gains with his auditory processing. She also said, he was probably very bored in school, because he was several grade levels ahead in math and reading and public school was not the best schooling option for him, homeschooling was. So, for the last month and for the remainder of the year, I have been homeschooling him in the morning and he only attends half days at public school. I am praying about what we are going to do next year, but I am leaning towards homeschooling, which is something I have always desired to do, but I'll save that story for another blog post.
So, this is the end of our journey, thus far. We still face struggles, but all parents do. I feel hopeful in his progress and one day think, just like my other children, he will do great things.
If you have a child on the spectrum I urge you to look at diet and removing as many toxins from their environment too. It was very beneficial to us, as well as, sensory integration and speech therapy. If you disagree with a doctor, get a second opinion but most of all, know that it is possible for their diagnosis to change as they get older. Never give up hope or searching for answers!
Thanks for reading our journey and for all your sweet comments you have blessed me with. I honestly have felt God's presence with me this whole journey and the glory goes to Him, not me. Below is one of my favorite songs that comforts me, with each hiccup we face in this journey called life. I hope you enjoy it!
This is a series of posts telling my family's journey with autism. Click here to read part 1 and part 2.
So, my son was 3 and just was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder and I nor anyone in the tiny town I lived in had ever heard of it. So, I researched it like a mad women. I started developing a sensory diet for my son. This has nothing to do with food, it is a personalized activity plan to help my son stay focused and organized during the day. We also went to OT, but I had to drive 1 1/2 hours for it and so we only went every 2 weeks.
Then, in a two week time period, my husband was offered a job in Georgia (we currently lived in Missouri) and I found out I was pregnant! Both ended up being the biggest blessing, but I was frustrated, tired and overwhelmed. We have moved about every 2-3 years for my husband's company. Thankfully, his company hires people to pack and unpack our home, so as far as moving goes, we have it pretty easy.
Luckily, we were also moving back to a town, we had lived in 3 years before, it was where both my sons were born. We joked with our wonderful doctor, that we came back, just so he could deliver my daughter.
Weeks after we found out we were moving, I remembered a unique school called Challenged Child and Friends was located in this town. They were an early intervention program for children with special needs and the classes were integrated with typical children. I remember looking at their website and reading they helped children with Sensory Processing concerns and I started crying. I felt like I was finally going to get support and help. We couldn't move to Georgia fast enough. God had provided us with just what we needed!
We moved to Georgia in the summer of 2009. My oldest was to start Kindergarten and my middle son would start preschool 5 days a week for 3 hours a day. I finally had a safe, understanding, educational facility that I felt comfortable leaving my child. For the first time, I did not feel like an outsider, my child fit in, there was nothing he did that shocked the teachers, he had support and I finally had a much need break. We found out we were having a girl and I was thrilled. We purchased a beautiful home near my husbands work, so he could be home more and things were starting to look up!
After we got settled, I took my son to the new pediatrician, gave her the low down of my son's health and development history and she recommended going to see another developmental pediatrician. The waiting list was 9 months, so we made the appointment and waited.
Right before my daughter was born, my son had been gluten free for almost 2 years. We started introducing dairy about a year before and saw no change in his development or digestion, however he refused to drink milk and still does to this day. So, we introduced gluten and again did not see any major changes. It was a relief to be off such a restrictive diet. The holistic doctor we were seeing, said, due to my son's digestive problems at birth and the case of Salmonella this made it harder for him to digest dairy and gluten. Allowing the gut to heal for an extended period of time allowed him to be able to tolerate the harder to digest foods again. This belief was reconfirmed when I read the book, Gut and Psychology Syndrome a few months ago.
While we were seeing progress, we still had many concerns, he was still very sensory seeking. It was exhausting, it was just too hard for him to sit still. Going to the store would require a 30 min pre-leave sensory diet, so he wouldn't be dis-organized in the store.
He also still struggled with conversations. Back and forth meaningful conversations were really difficult for him. He was great at asking for things he wanted or needed, but if you asked him a who, what, when, where or why question, he would often ignore you. It was very frustrating and it was hard to connect with him. He was happy and very loving, but it was like pulling teeth to get him to have a conversation with you. He often would repeat movie lines if you asked him a question or give you a totally off the wall answer.
He was getting speech and occupational therapy, we did sensory diets, body brushing, therapeutic listening and stayed away from as many artificial dyes, colors and preservatives in our food. He took fish oil, probiotics and a multivitamin daily. He never complained and honestly it was harder convincing others why I didn't want him to eat junk food. I have linked articles to these ways of treating behavior concerns, if you want to read more information.
Most of all during this time period, I made the biggest change. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and embraced this was our way of life. The way I envisioned myself as a mother and family was shifting. I no longer desired to be all Martha Stewarty when it came to birthday parties or with my home, the luxury of free time was not in my hands. I stopped desiring joining a country club or volunteering for Jr. League, this lifestyle was simply not in my cards. I became more humble and focused on just making it through another week. I came to realize I was my children's most important advocate and teacher and that trumped everything else.
I also saw so many families around me at his school everyday, in much more difficult circumstances. Children that would never walk or talk and kids with severe learning and behavior problems. A child in my son's class, was burned from a fire and had no hands or legs. She smiled and spoke to me every time I dropped off my son. I started feeling blessed to only be dealing with a child that was impulsive and struggles with conversation skills and sensory processing.
Every night I went to bed, knowing my son loved me, because I heard the sweet words from his lips and felt his tiny arms wrap around me in an embrace, not all parents are so blessed.
Though we still had many unanswered questions, I knew God sent me to this school to be filled with compassion and hope. It was just what I needed to prepare me for I what our new Developmental Pediatrician would have to say.
I'm back for part 2. For those of you just reading this, start here.
So, I was with my 3 year old and 20 month old at the Pediatric Ophthalmologist. I had taken my son in for a drifting eye. I was feeling a bit Munchauseny at this point for taking my son to yet another doctor. The doctor was lovely, but I immediately knew something was wrong when she got not 1, but 3 colleagues to come take a look at my son's eyes. She said very calmly.
"Your son has unusually large optic nerves, we typically see this with brain tumors. I'm sure he is fine, but we need to schedulean MRI anyway. Oh, and he is extremely far sighted and needs glasses and has a lazy eye that needs patched daily."
I felt like I was being punched in the stomach. I felt my world spinning around me, at the same time I had 2 crying kids complaining they were starving and had to go potty. I'm not sure how I even made it back to the car. I remember calling my husband who was at work and in between sobs telling him the news.
I pulled it together and went to the nearest Lens Crafters and bought my son his much needed glasses. As I got to the mall, I had 2 crabby kids and I was feeling like the worst mom on the planet for not knowing my child needed glasses. They had 1 pair to choose from for toddlers and they looked huge on him. They also couldn't do anything special to the lenses to make them NOT look like coke bottles and they were thick! In about an hour, they brought them to me and I teared up as I put them on my sweet boy. But God knew this was hard on me and he provided me with the sweetest gift. Up to this point, my son had not yet called me mama. But as soon as I put those glasses on him, he looked at me, cupped my face with his hands and looked me square in the eyes and said "MAMA.
We went home and the next 4 weeks were a blur, as that's how long we had to wait to have an MRI. I tried my hardest to not research brain tumors, but any human with a computer knows how that goes. I prayed and prayed. For me, this was a point in my faith when a peace passed over me and I knew whatever it was, it would be ok. We were able to special order some better fitting glasses with thinner lenses. He looked stinking adorable with his glasses. I heard so many horror stories about toddlers and glasses and he was a dream, he never complained and in the beginning didn't even mind patching.
Finally, the day arrived for the MRI and we had to leave our home at 5 am for a 7 am appointment. My hubby and 3 year old came with us. They gave our son something to help him relax and if I remember correctly the procedure only took about 30 min. Thankfully, God answered our prayers and he did not have a brain tumor. It is noted that he has "unusually large optic nerves" and they said if he ever goes to the emergency room for head trauma, be sure to tell them this, because they will think swelling of the brain is causing it.
By this point, my sweet boy was not even 2 and I had had about enough of the medical community freaking me out, only to leave me with no answers. I started taking his health in my own hands. I researched and found a Gastroenterologist that offered testing from home for food intolerance and digestive issues. I was desperate for answers and ordered them right away. At the time, this felt a bit weird and strange, but the standard medical community was at a loss of what to do. Now, this was right about the time "healing" autism was starting to pick up steam, but the websites and blogs were not saturated with info like today. Also, this holistic, type of medicine, is very expensive and insurance does not cover it. My pediatrician, told me not to waste my money, but any mother with a sick child knows that sort of advice doesn't hold clout with a mother looking for answers.
I saved some poop and sent off the tests. The results were that he had an intolerance to gluten, dairy and soy. On his second birthday I took away all three foods from his diet. What happened next amazed even the naysayer doctors.
It was like a light switch went off. My son started talking and in a 2
month time period, went from a 6 month language delay, to no delay at
all. He went from being clingy and lethargic to the Energizer bunny!
He was into everything. He explored everything. The Pediatrician was
really amazed, but would never admit it was the diet, she just thought
he was a late bloomer. After 3 months on this diet, he was able to stop
iron supplements and for the first time since he had Salmonella had
normal looking poop. His growth pattern did not improve, he was still
in the 1% in height and weight. Those of you that know me personally,
know I am a itty bitty thing. I'm 100 lbs and 5'2 . But
even so, the smallest my kids should be is in the 30% they said. So
this was still a concern.
So they sent us to be tested by Endocrinology. At our local children's
hospital they wanted us to put our son on Human Growth Hormone, at the
tune of $3000 a month. Of course, insurance would pay for 80%, but
still, that is a shot EVERYDAY for the next 15 years. Since he did not
have a growth hormone deficiency, this was purely cosmetic and he may
only achieve 1-3 inches in added height.
So, I hopped on a plane to John Hopkins, for a second
opinion. I decided early on, when one doctor tells me to do something
drastic to my child, I will find the best doctor in the field in the
country and see if they agree. Guess what, he didn't.. he said,
"don't do growth hormone yet, your son is in the 1%, someone has to be. If you want more answers go to a Geneticist. "
At this point, my son was 2 1/2. In the small town I lived in "everyone" put there kids in a mother's day out program. I was desperate for a break. With no family in town and a hubby that worked a long hours, not much time was spared for me to get a break My husband was a great help when he was home, but at this point we were both physically and emotionally drained.
You see, even play dates were exhausting,
my son, would not just play at others homes, he would tour them,
opening every cabinet and door. Get in showers, crawl up stairs, climb in laundry baskets. It was
actually more work to be at someone else's home. Unless the TV was on, my son was getting in something and he was quite as a mouse. I used to put bells on his shoes, just so I could find him. I would call and call his name and he would answer, but in a normal tone,
so unless I had found him, I couldn't hear him. He was also fearless,
which is scary in a 2 year old. He would love to climb and jump off things, the higher the better. He was like a little monkey. So I jumped at the chance to get 4 hours free a week. But it turned out to be harder on me emotionally then keeping him home.
The first week of preschool, he quietly left the classroom and was found about to leave the building, by a secretary of the church, the teacher did not even know he had gone. He had to be watched like a hawk! He had many sensory issues, of course at the time I had never heard of this and I had no idea what was going on with him. The best way I know how to describe him was he had to do things "harder" then others to get the same feel. He often stomped when he walked, hugged someone until they fell over, kissed til he bit, and was like a ping pong ballbouncing off the walls.
It didn't help, that to me, his class seemed very calm and well behaved. It made me feel all the more out of place and this is when the comparison to other children bothered me the most. I felt like "that mom". You know, the one I often thought had no control over their child. The child, that every mother in preschool loathed, because they were often the cause of their child's tears. It is a very lonely, humbling place to be as a mother. Everyday I would pick him up with a sense of dread. What are they going to tell me he did now?
I lived in a very small town, the resources were nonexistent. I needed help, but didn't know what to do. We had no diagnosis and my son did not have enough of a delay to qualify for the early intervention program. We saw results with the gluten and dairy free diet, but it was hard to implement (remember this was 5 years ago in a small town, I would have to order everything online and drive 1 1/2 hours for bread). We were also seeing a holistic doctor and while she was helpful, her prices were insane and not covered by insurance.
During this time, we also lived in a home that was like the money pit....that is another series in itself....but at this particular moment, on Christmas Eve, we had a frozen water pipe burst and do $35,000 worth of damage and cause 6 weeks of remodeling on our home (thank God for insurance). To say the least it was very stressful on both me and my husband.
We went back to the Developmental Pediatrician, when he turned 3. He
said...
I think he is one of those
kids, that is borderline, he doesn't really fit in any diagnostic box, if anything he has signs of ADHD, but is really to young to be sure. Just keep doing what your doing. There is no reason to come back and see me again, until he is school age.
Again, I was relieved, but I wanted answers. By the end the school year, the teacher pulled me aside and suggested I take him to be evaluated by an Occupational therapist. She diagnosed him withSensory Processing Disorder. I finally had a lead and bought every book I could on the subject.
I knew my son needed support and it became up to me to give it too him, then God did the most amazing thing, just when I was at my lowest point!
as i sit here at 6 am it looks like a winter wonderland outside! i have seen every type of water come out of the sky rain, ice, sleet, snow....it won't STOP. it is really getting on my nerves. while this week started out great the joyfulness of the email i received Sunday is slowly getting buried by the weight of snow and ice and life's trials. my pup, Maggie, is sick with something. the last 2 nights she has been waking me up every 2 hours to pee then she struggles to jump on our bed, so she reaches her paw up and scratches me to get my attention when i help her on the bed she stands, hoovering over me panting i just sit and pet her and tell her its going to be ok the last time we had a pet act goofy like this we found out he had cancer and died 5 days later! i'm worried.
i also found out i have to go back to dermatologist and have more skin removed, where an atypical mole was. not cancer they say, but could turn into it, if not removed. (wear sunscreen people)
i also am making some big plans for school next year for the kids while i feel a great peace about it, it is also very overwhelming i'll share more when i have completely wrapped my head around it.
i have a couple blog friends going through some stuff. crazy, "God, where are you ?" stuff. its time's like this where you wish you actually lived close by and could take them cookies or dinner and sit with them and let them vent.
i found out about a young teen from my hometown who took his life due to bullying. what is wrong with kids today? the careless words and actions upon others HAS GOT TO STOP! to show support and awareness for bullying please like this Facebook page.
BUT, despite all this, i have not lost faith. for me, when the storms of life come tearing at us trying to make us stumble, fall and lose faith, that is when i am clinging to my faith even more.
how do people get by without it? i wrote more about this here.
when is all the hatred and anger against others gonna stop? who are we to judge? show love and kindness to others who are we to cast stones at others?
God is big. He is Good and Loving. He did not promise easy, perfect lives. in fact He says the opposite, he says we will face trails and we should be joyful in them!
4) Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2–4 (ESV)
we are all going through "stuff" we all need encouragement and love we all need faith in something bigger then us show kindness today. smile at a stranger. open a door for someone. pay for someone else's lunch. offer to help a friend in need. we have so much we are capable of to help others don't dwell on your trials, embrace them and show others your FAITH IS BIGGER THAN YOUR FEARS!
So Sunday night I was laying in bed with baby girl singing her some of my favorite sweet inspirational songs. All of them, I picked up at the summer kamp I told you about here, including my favorite song and inspiration to my blog title, Room To Grow. By the way, I should point out I am NOT a singer. I do love to sing sweet tunes to my babies, but once they reach about 5, they become wise, that I don't sound very good, so the requests stop coming. Anyway, Miss B, still likes my singing voice.
While I was singing I heard my phone ding, that I had a new message. After she was asleep, I went to check my email and just about died, when I saw who it was from... It was from ASHLEY JOHNSTON, singer and song writer of the song, I was JUST singing to my little moments before!!
She wrote, that a friend of hers, saw my blog and post about her song and e-mailed her, she said was "speechless"..... What!! She was speechless, so was I!!
I immediately wrote back and was all giddy and told her my maiden name to see if she would have remembered me from Kamp 20 years ago. Then, while I was waiting for her reply, I panicked and started thinking, it could be some stalker that was trying to find out where I lived....you know, they read my blog, saw my post that I had been trying to find Ashley and saw it as an opportunity to find out where I lived....Ok, Ok I know I have seen WAY to many lifetime movies, but jeez, in this day and age, it's hard to trust others!!
So, when she replied, she said she did remember me and asked where I lived...so I made her answer questions that I know the only real Ashley would know....I am so silly I know.
She immediately answered correctly and I knew it was her, then I felt foolish for suspecting a creeper...
Anyway, several e-mails later.... she is fantastic! She is so sweet and humbled that I would still be listening to her sweet music after all this time. But really, I am the one humbled! The thought that she had such a strong faith in her 20's is amazing to me. Even though I have been listening to this poor little worn out tape for 20 years, I am just appreciating some of the depths of her lyrics, in my mid 30's. Particularly this one, "I love to hope the faith, I know You'll never leave." I am just realizing this about God's love for me...for us... and she could write about it in her 20's. AMAZED! It has been so cool to be able to tell her that, that I have been so touched by her music, for so many years.
I have a new appreciation for her and her songwriting and I also found out she is a very talented artist!
It has been the coolest experience and I'm so thankful her friend saw my blog and e-mailed her and that she contacted me. God is so awesome!
Now my blog title means even more to me then before.
This past weekend, my husband and I joined some church friends for a weekend marriage conference called Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage. Mark Gungor, speaker and brain child behind this, also happens to be the pastor of our church. We had never heard of him until a year ago. When we started attending his church and it was a life changing experience for us. He is hilarious and speaks a common sense message about Christianity, while also empowering couples everywhere, on his thoughts about marriage and parenting. If you ever have an opportunity to attend one of his seminars I highly recommend it. Even my hubby loved it and he is typically not into this kinda thing. You can also watch video clips here, on his YouTube channel. He really has a gift for breaking down the differences between men and women and provides you with solid advice on how to strengthen your relationship. He had us both laughing hysterical, with his dramatic impressions and his "no holds barred" attitude.
If you don't have the opportunity to attend a seminar, then you should at least check out his website about The Flagpage solution. It's a simple survey you and your spouse can do, to find out what motivates you and will reveal how you can love each other best. They also have a game to play with your kids, that I can't wait to try with my two oldest. The idea is if you truly know what makes the other person motivated in life, you will offer them more grace and understanding about why we act the way we do.
Both my hubby and I took the short 5 min questionnaire and were absolutely stunned by the results. It was like looking into our hearts and seeing what made us tic. We found out, in some ways we were treating each other more like ourselves want to be loved and in turn, bringing out each others worst characteristics. Now, armed with the knowledge on how to empower each other and make us feel our best, we can bring out the wonderful qualities in each other. How cool is that? After the quick 5-10 min survey, you will see the following pages, plus Mark pops up on the screen to describe what the results mean. There is also a book, you can purchase to further explain the results.
So if you want to know what makes my heart happy, read on....
This really was a very accurate portrayal of what I am motivated by, really the only aspect I did not agree with, is where it says I am always a fast moving train and never slow down, I do feel like I slow down alot and need to stop and catch my breath, but overall it was very precise. The cost of this, is very reasonable too, we purchased ours at the event at the price of $25 for two flag codes and a book, online it looks like its $15 a flag. If you do anything, to improve your marriage, or other relationships, I highly recommend this, it was very eye opening and I believe will be very useful in keeping our marriage strong.
Have you been to a Laugh Your Way conference or have a Flagpage?
**Just so you know, I was not asked to write this review, these are all my own thoughts based on attending the conference and purchasing the Flagpage at our discretion. Go do it, you will not be disappointed!
Lately, some very tragic deaths have occurred to children I have either been acquainted with or belong to a family member of blogs I read. It is heart breaking and unimaginable. I get panicky and my heart races just thinking about it. But, I am also reminded that despite taking all the safety precautions we can in life, as parents, we really are not in control, in regards to when we or our children, leave this earth. It is terrifying, if you really think about it.
But let these tragedies, be a reminder to us, how precious life it. How, what we do and say, really does matter. How each day is a gift and life is short. But more importantly, have you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Have you done your duty as a parent, to bring your children up in a faith based home. I'm not here to preach or tell you how to live your life, but think about it, we do not know what tomorrow brings or the challenges we may face. The minor challenges I have faced, were only bearable for one reason, I had God in my life. I had His promises that say.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust
in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own
understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make
straight your paths.
James 1:2-4 Count
it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you
know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let
steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and
complete, lacking in nothing.
Philippians 4:6,7 …
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and
supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your
hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Those of you that know me, know I'm not a Jesus Freak, I make mistakes everyday and am far from perfect. I don't preach to everyone I meet, or spout off fire and brimstone. I'm a mother that is head over heals in love with her children. I have a heart that aches, with every unkind word that gets thrown their way, every bump and bruise they get and every trial they face. Being a mother, is like wearing your heart on your sleeve and almost daily, I place my self in a situation I read about and think, how do you go on after a hurt like that. These families, that seem to make it through, have one thing in common, an immeasurable faith in Jesus, that this happening is part of a plan, far bigger then they may ever realize. I want faith like that. I want comfort like that. Because this life, causes a lot of hurt and I need something far bigger to rely on to get me through it.
I wanted to start a blog about a year ago and you know what tripped me up...a name!! I couldn't for the life of me come up with a name that I was happy with and portrayed the theme I was going for. Then, one weekend, my extremely supportive hubby, was like, "Just do it, sit down right now and come up with a name and do this thing!" So we started brainstorming. He started thinking about song titles. That got me thinking about songs that have had the most meaning to me and my life events.
Me when I was 9 with the kamp director, Kay Holiday
When I was growing up, I was blessed to go to a christian athletic camp for a month each summer, called Kanakuk Kamp. It was the highlight of my year. Year after year, I would look forward to the familiar faces and spritual recharge I would attain after a month at this camp. I was extremely blessed and I feel it is one of the best things my parents did for me, in regards to my faith. One year a counselor, that had formly been a camper was a singer and song writer and had recorded an album. I remember begging my parents for a copy. It quickly became one of my most played albums. Many years later, I would sing the sweet melodies to my babies, while I rocked them to sleep. One of those songs was called, Room To Grow, the singer was Ashley Johnston. I have googled her a dozen times and never find anything. Even though, she may not be singing anymore, her sweet words touched the heart of a young lady and inspired the title of the my blog, more than 20 years later. I recorded this from my tape, so please excuse the poor quality.
Room To Grow By: Ashley Johnston
Nothing ventured nothing gained am I right or wrong
listen closely there's a message in my song
perhaps you've heard many times and you think you know,
but believe me my friend there's still room to grow
Once upon a time in a land not so far away
walked a man through the desert all the live long day
searching high and low for the rivers flow
he never gave in, he believed there was room to grow.
though the rain did not come when he gave his call
patiently he waited and the rain began to fall
filling him with gladness and reason to live on
he believed and he began to grow
well now here's a story of a lady who was hunky dory
had everything she could want, maybe even more
until one day when the queen returned to her palace
to find only ashes scattered on the floor
such a tragedy, her riches all destroyed
now she'd have to look elsewhere to find her inner joy
she through her hands up to the sky and cried as if she'd known
heaven knows there's room to grow
well now I share the heart of my own, I once was blind, but now I see i've still got a long way to go, don't get me wrong but I believe in a God who knows my name and he's calling me back home until that day you know, I know, there's room to grow
yeah, room to grow for I believe that He that began a good work in me, will be faithful to complete it perfectly until that day you know that I will call upon my Lord, to show me where there's room to grow Update!! Read here to find out how I finally connected to Ashley.
One of my New Year's resolutions this year is to offer more validation. What does this mean? It means, I want to make it a priority to offer support, encouragement or praise to friends, family and those that come and go in my life.
Facebook, Twitter, Blogs....for the first time in history you don't have to be famous to have a voice. One common dominator in all humans is that we all want to be heard and feel like what we do and says matters. I started noticing the importance of this here when I was doing my 31 Days of Family Bliss. The way we react says alot about ourselves and what we think of the other person. What reactions are we sending out to others?
Some questions to ask yourself....
1. Are you a "Liker" and commenter on Facebook?
Facebook has made it so easy to validate others feelings and circumstances. Are you a ghost facebooker, where you read everyone's updates and look at their photos, but never hit "Like" or leave a comment? If so, why? I promise you, your "friend" wants you to at least "like" it, otherwise they wouldn't FB it. Now, I know that some people FB every detail of their life and I'm not saying you have to "like" everything, but for those moments of pure excitement, joy, stress or worry I urge you to leave a comment, it's the least you can do for a "friend" right? I hate to think we are becoming so numb in our society that we can overlook life changing status updates without batting an eye.
2. Are you a blogger and you have loyal readers who leave comments, but you have never taken the time to read a single post they have written or comment on their blog? They obviously think your blog is great and think highly of you, I encourage you to leave them a little love too. A quick, thoughtful comment, may make a bloggers day.
3. When you are waiting in line or are at a doctors office do you sit around staring at your phone? I encourage you to take notice of others, start up small talk or give a simple smile. Several years ago, I was at a park and began making small talk with a mom pushing her child in the swing next to mine. We had a conversation about her son being behind in language skills and while my child was older, he had many of the same issues. Fast forward a year later and I get a phone call from her late one evening because she was overwhelmed that her son was just diagnosed with Asperger's. Since that night, a wonderful, supportive friendship has occurred, that never would have taken place if we hadn't had small talk on the playground. 4. Do you offer encouragement or compliments to others? When you talk with others make it a point to offer them a compliment or ask them about something important to them. I don't think we should be over the top and fake, but start to truly look for the good in others and when you see it let them know it. I have been blessed to have a mother like this. As a child, she was always my biggest fan, encouraging, complimenting and just making me feel good about myself. Even to this day, when I speak with her on the phone, she is always telling me what a great mother I am and I must admit, it feels really nice. I have been lucky enough to have some friends like this over the years, that offer genuine care and concern for life's good and bad moments.
Now, I know we are not supposed to get our validation from others, but from God, but who was more compassionate and caring then Jesus Christ? Who is a better example of offering validation then God, who forgives us for our sins AND still loves us, no matter what. What a wonderful example of Christianity to offer validation to those that come and go in our lives. Make it a point to see the best in others, smile, compliment, hit the "like" button and encourage. Society makes it hard enough to feel good about ourselves and second guess many aspects of our lives. How wonderful would it feel to be a source of encouragement to others?
I challenge you to show kind gestures to others without expecting anything in return, you never know the impact you may make in their life. So, what do you think? Will you join me?
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