Day 31: Wrapping it up!

We are finally at an end of our 31 day series of Creating Family Bliss.  I will say that honestly I can see more bliss in my family then ever before.  It has been a lot of work on my part, but the funny thing is when things are blissful and calm, it doesn't seem like work.  Ya know what I mean? 

Focusing for 31 days about family bliss has hopefully ingrained some of these ideas into my head and they will start becoming the norm and not seem like work.  It is really amazing the power we hold as moms.  I find it true in my family that I really can set the tone for the rest of the family. 

So what about you, has anyone else found family bliss by focusing on becoming a well rounded mama?

Well, I'm off to the store to shop for our annual "Spooky"  Halloween feast, we also have family coming in this weekend!  I have lots of home stuff to share with you all in November.  Happy Halloween! 

This is part of a 31 Day series to read more click, here.

Day 30: It's All About Love And Respect

We are nearing the end of our  31 Days of Creating Family Bliss.  When I started this series, my goal was to finish the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.  I was given this book last year my the mentor in my MOPs group and I have heard soooo many great things about and what a great tool it is for improving your marriage.  I started it up the beginning of October and unfortunately have not finished it, but I intend too, it is good stuff.  I do want to share a review I have found online, that gives you a great overview of this book.  To read it click here, Amy Bennet does a wonderful job.

The bottom line is show your husband respect, he will give you the love you desire.  The book shares techniques on how to communicate better with your spouse to get out of the Crazy Cycle and enjoy the Reward Cycle of marriage.   I highly recommend reading this book yourself or even better as a couple. 

This is part of a 31 day series to read more here.

Day 29: Does Your Face Light Up When Your Children Walk In The Room?

One of Oprah's greatest lessons in the '90s was that everybody just wants to be appreciated or validated. She had an aha! moment in 2000 when Toni Morrison, author of The Bluest Eye, was on the show asking, "Does your face light up [when you see children]?" because that allows your face to speak how your heart feels. 

After seeing this episode on Oprah's Life class, I started thinking of what my face says to not only my child but also my husband.  I was ashamed to find I often felt annoyed and frustrated when they interrupted me and needed something when I was already busy.    I now really try to make it a point to look at them happily, listen  and not hurry them on their way.

How do you greet your children and husband when they come in a room?

This is part of a 31 day series to read more click here. >

Day 28: Inspiration From Other Moms- "Keeping It Real Bloggers"

I mentioned in this post I found some great blogs I look forward to reading every time they post.  I call them "keeping it real" blogs.  After reading their posts I feel inspired and encouraged, like I just had a great conversation with a good friend.  Check them out you won't be disappointed.

La Famile- Alicia is a superstar mom to 3 kids she is homeschooling.  She has #4 on the way, so she is not blogging quite as much :(, but her archives won't disappoint.  So many of her posts speak right to the heart of a mama.

Lemonade Makin' Mama- Sasha's posts are almost always inspiring and thought provoking.  She is encouraging and has beautiful photos to look at while she pours out her heart and soul.  She is Martha Stewarty but not in an ostentatious way. 

Farmgirl Paints-I found Becky's blog because she is bloggy friends with both Alicia and Sasha, they go and visit and everything, isn't that so cute!  I have only been reading her blog regularly the last couple months, but again, every post pulls at the heart strings of a mom.  She also makes awesome custom leather cuff bracelets, I just ordered one and can't wait to get it. 

The Better Mom-  This is a great blog with many contributing writers.  They cover many topics and are a wealth of information for moms in all walks of life. 

This is a 31 Day series to read more click here.

Day 27: Stop Trying To Change Everyone

This was a big one for me.  I am great at telling my family what they need to do to change, but  guess who really needs to change...me!  I am the queen of bringing home a book like, "How To Have a New Husband by Friday," or "Parenting The Strong-Willed Child".  I thought I was the only one doing it right and everybody else was wrong.  Then, one day it hit me like a ton of bricks, maybe its not them that needs changing, maybe its me!!!

This epiphany has made me more tolerable of what I used to think were my husband and kids shortcomings.  I stopped thinking my husband was purposely ignoring the laundry that needed folded because he was lazy, but he actually didn't know I wanted him to do it.  He's not programmed too, just like I'm not programmed to kill a snake.  When my son comes home from school grumpy and moody,  its not because he wants to get under my skin, he has had a bad day and probably needs to talk, he just not great at communicating that. 

 With my experience in my family boys/men are not communicators and planners like women.  Having a daughter has made this so much clearer to me.   My almost 3 year old girl will see trash on the floors and throw it away, my boys would step over it.  She will ask what we are going to do for the day, my boys will sit around until I tell them what to do.  Men and women are a completely different species.  While women are more list makers and planners, men are more go with the flow and easygoing.   I have come to terms that neither of us are necessary wrong, we just need to be more accepting of our differences and stop taking things so personally.

Men need more direction when it comes to things like housework and planning activities with the kids.  But the key is not to sound naggy and bossy.  In return,  men need to know we are emotional and sensitive and when you laugh at our To Do list or our hour to hour plan of attacking Disney World, we will probably cry.    We may get our feelings hurt at the drop of a hat and cry that Christina on Parenthood has cancer.  Just deal with it boys, we know it is only a show and she doesn't really have cancer, but you don't have to look at us like we are nuts every week.      

Stop trying to change everyone, change your way of thinking and you will be surprised of the bliss you will find.

This is a 31 day series to read more, click here.

Day 26- Is Your Glass Half Full Or Half Empty?

Is you glass half full or half empty?  Do you tend to focus on the negative aspects of life rather then the positive?  If you are a negative thinker, this could be bringing you down more then you know.  Earlier in this series I wrote about attitude.  How we, as moms, can set the tone for the whole family by being in a good mood.  But what about when something bad happens or we have situations in our life that really bring us down and wear us out?  We have the ability to create our own reality.  Are we going to focus on the negatives or choose to see the good that can come out of it?

I know in the middle of a "storm," it can be really hard to see the silver lining, but  here are some tips to help keep your perspective in check.

1.  Remember there is a season for everything- when you have a house full of babies and toddlers just realize your house will usually stay messy, you won't get much sleep and most days you will feel like you have been hit by a mac truck.  Once you come to terms with the phase of life you are in, it is easier to realize IT IS A PHASE, IT WILL BE OVER AT SOME POINT.  I have had a problem, my whole life, of wishing I was in the next phase of life.  When I was in high school, I wanted to be in college, when I was a newlywed I wanted to be a mother.  I finally saw that way of thinking left me feeling unsatisfied with the season of life I was in.  Once I overcame this obstacle, it was a game changer for me. 

2.  Think about your words before you say them:  Do you find yourself making statements like "I have a killer headache and you never help out,"  or "The kids never listen to me and I'm sick of it,"  Chances are, you are over exaggerating.    By making overgeneralized statements like this it is another form of negative thinking.  Statements like these cause resentment and make the person receiving the words to feel threatened. Rephrasing those statements to, "Honey, I have a headache coming on and would love to lay down for 20 minutes, would you mind taking the kids out to play"  or "The kids are really struggling to listen to me, could we sit down with them and talk to them about it,"  can change the outcome of the situation.  

3.  Write down or say out loud what you are grateful for:  By writing down what you are thankful for, you are channeling positive energy around you.  Positive thoughts and happiness create more of the same. 

4.  Ask yourself what can you learn from this situation: If I go back and think about the most difficult times in my life, I ALWAYS see a lesson I learned from it.  Armed with this knowledge,  I suddenly am not so fearful of the future or obstacles that come my way.  I know I will come out of it a better person. 

5. "No one said it would be easy, but no one said it'd be this hard":  This is a quote from Sheryl Crow's song, of the same title.  I never realized how hard it was going to be to grow up.  When people said things like, "enjoy your childhood," I scoffed at them.  If I knew then, what I know now!  Life is tough, marriage is a lot of work and raising kids is like wearing your heart on your sleeve, but IT IS ALL WORTH IT!!!  The person I am becoming and growth I have experienced as a result of growing up has made me so appreciative of this wonderful life God has given me.

6.  Someone has tougher challenges to overcome:  I was taught this lesson about 4 years ago.  Growing up I had a good life, great parents, nice house, didn't want for much, life was easy.  Then, I became a mother to my second child and I suddenly faced some issues I had not planned for in my "ideal" life.  I often asked myself, "why me?"  "Why does my child have developmental concerns, why do I have to take my child to the doctor every month for medical testing."  In the mist of these hardships, my husband was transferred to a new job, in a new state.  In the new city we moved to, they had a preschool mixed with children with special needs and typical children.  For the first time, I was exposed to the harsh reality some parents are faced with.  Children, that will never walk, talk or see past their 5th birthday.  Parents faced with decisions about feeding tubes, wheelchairs, seizures and breathing machines.  My eyes were wide open to the fact that I had little too complain about, in regards to my child and his issues.  While it is true, my concerns and fears were real and matter to my family, my perspective switched gears to thankfulness and appreciation. No matter what your situation is, someone out there, has it a lot tougher then you I promise!

7.  God's plan is better then mine:  Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Who am I to argue with God, he says He wants me to prosper I better believe Him. 

What are some things you do to bring out the best in situations?

This is a 31 day series, to read more click here.

Day 25- Cleaning the House

Cleaning house, one of my least favorite jobs, but a messy house leaves me irritable and grumpy.  When my house is a disaster, I walk around thinking about how long it is going to take to get it pulled together and it makes me want to crawl under the covers and go to sleep. 

 I have tried many different strategies for keeping a clean house and found this schedule to work best for my season in life.  It has helped that I have recently organized my house a room at a time and things seem to stay put easier since I have a place for everything.   

1.  Do a load of laundry everyday and put away.

2.  Run dishwasher every night and get kitchen picked up no matter how tired I am.  (nothing grumps me out more than to wake up to a dirty kitchen)  kids unload in the morning

3.  Sweep Kitchen floor every night

4.  Spend 1-2 hour a week ironing (usually when I am watching a favorite show)

5.  Thursday afternoons clean bathrooms

6.  Friday afternoon clean house-dust, vacuum/ mop floors, file papers

7. Spend one day a month really deep cleaning

8.  Place baskets or laundry baskets in every room  to toss items that go in other rooms and then when I have 15 find a basket and put stuff away.  

9.  Sunday early evening have the whole family do a quick clean/pickup of the house, assign everyone a couple rooms

10.  Sunday wash and change bedding

If cleaning your house overwhelms you week after week, or you want to start a routine to keeping up with housework, Clean Mama is a great blog to get you started, she has free printables and lots of tips, another old favorite is The Fly Lady. 

My family seems to function better when the house is picked up and clean.  Luckily, my kids are at an age where they can, and for the most, part are willing to help.  What are your tips for keeping your house in order?

This is part of a 31 day series to read more click here.

Day 24- The Problem With Comparing.............

The problem with comparing, is we don't always know the rest of the story.  In this day and age it is really hard to not compare your life with the lives of others.  All the social media outlets and blogs take us into the homes and daily lives of pretty much anyone we have ever come in contact with or desired to learn more about.  I am guilty of  feeling jealous when I see the great "tidbit" of life so many of my 400+Facebook friends have portrayed at one time or another.  The problem is, I only talk to 10% of them on a regular basis.  I know everyone posts the "great" things in their life and not the boring, awful stuff we all want to forget about.  But, why is it so hard to remember that?

I think it is human nature to portray our lives are going great.  Of course, we want to remember the good times over the bad.  When I have been in some of the most difficult days of my life, the last thing I wanted to do was update my Facebook status with something like:

  "I took my 18th month old in for an eye exam today and guess what, not only is he crossed eyed and extremely far sighted, he also may have a brain tumor.   We also came home from vacation to find our foundation detached from our home and we have a 5 inch opening in our home (that should be real helpful for the snake and mouse problem we already have).  Oh yeah, and insurance doesn't cover it and it cost $10,000 to repair."
 (yes, this could have been a real FB post, no, my son did not end up having a brain tumor, thank God!)

Then, when I first started reading blogs, I was suddenly sucked into the lives of strangers, thinking they have the perfect kids, home, husbands, job and can craft and bake like Martha Stewart.  I couldn't peel away from page after page of perfection, yet I always went away feeling inadaquite. 

It wasn't until I found several blogs I call "keeping it real" blogs that sucked me in and made me feel normal.  They blogged about the good and the bad, they are creative, but not in an ostentatious way, instead they inspired me.  

I finally came to terms that no one has a perfect life, everyone has something that keeps them up at 3 am.  We all go through seasons of ups and downs.  At some point in out life we have a   'why me' or 'what if' pity party.  We wouldn't be human if we didn't.  

Embrace your life, your trials and struggles, knowing there are lessons to be learned down this road of life.  Try not to compare you husband, house, job or kids to everyone else's, because chances are, if you had another, you would find fault them/it too.  God gave you this life for a purpose, remember that and nothing can get you down!  

This is part of a 31 day series, to read more click here.

Day 23- Put Down the cell phone!

Nothing is more irritating then when you are trying to talk to someone and their head is buried in a phone. It is rude and makes the other person feel unimportant.  We have become a society that thinks if we don't read that email or text message the instant it is received the world will end.  The exception I have, is if my kids or husband aren't with me, then I will check and  make sure it is not them contacting me. But, if you must check it, saying a simple "excuse me", instead of stopping  mid-sentence, makes a big difference.   

Make cell phone free hours in your home, when your eating or doing homework.  Have everyone leave their phone to charge at night, in one spot, kids do not need to be texting to the wee ours of the night.    Another pet peeve I have, is when you text someone in another room instead of personally walking over to them.  This is very important for dealing with kids.  Kids need the role model to learn the importance of SOCIAL communication.  This requires eye contact, tone and body language.

When you are home with your family, make sure your kids and spouse know you are available.  If you can't stand the thought of hearing 'ping' and not running to find out who it is, then turn your phone off.   This goes for working spouses and kids too. It drives me crazy when I am telling my husband a story about the kids and he is ignoring me and sending an email for work.  Since it is 'work' related, it makes a difference, I don't think so. Kids need limits too, sit  down as a  family and set rules for  appropriate cell phone usage. 

Take the time to talk and listen to what your kids have to say.  Don't make your spouse feel like finding out how many people 'like' your new family photo on Facebook, is more important then them.  Technology is a great thing, cell phones are convenient and great communication tools, but so is good ol' fashion talking!  Try it, you may be surprised what you learn.

This is part of a 31 day series, to read more click here

Day 22- Money and Budget

Nothing wrecks the family bliss more then the finances.  Unfortunately, money doesn't grow on trees, yet the expenditures keep coming.  Cell phone bills for tweens and teens, college tuition increasing every year, kids and adults always wanting the 'new' updated version of whatever Apple is selling.  It's really hard to get ahead and continue to be satisfied with what you already have.

A few years ago, we got the new IPad, mostly for some excellent apps it offered my son with speech concerns.  Not,  3 weeks later did Apple come out with the new version!  Of course after seeing the new one,  I immediately became dissatisfied, with the one I had thought, just two weeks before, was the coolest invention since dishwashers! Now, 4 years later, we still have our generation 1 IPad and it still works great and I have since let go of always wanting the latest and greatest.   

There are lots of experts out there with sound advice on money matters.  Suze Orman and Dave Ramsey are my favorites.  Both their websites provide lots of tips to get started on a budget and financial freedom.  They offer workbooks, seminars, books and online budgeting tools that can keep your finances in check. Seeking the advice of a financial planner may be beneficial to your family too.

An easy and eyeopening task is to write down all expenses for a month.  Seeing it all written out, was a real eye opener for me.  I was amazed I was spending nearly $1400 a month on groceries and I cook 90% of our meals.  I do mainly buy organic, but still this amount seemed crazy to me!  Since I became aware of this, I just started tallying up what I am going to buy on a calculator at the store.  It has really made me think twice before I do any impulse purchasing.   Without clipping coupons, I have shaved my monthly bill down to about $850.

Setting a budget and savings plan for your family, is not difficult, but it does require, teamwork, dedication and discipline.   Getting your finances in order and living the life you can afford vs the life you wish you could, can offer a tremendous amount of Family Bliss!!

This is part of a 31 day series, to read more click here.

Day 21: Inspiration from Other Moms- Kelle Hampton

Kelle Hampton's blog, Enjoying the Small Things is one of the first blogs I remember reading.  Her story about the birth of her daughter being born with Down's Syndrome, left me in tears.  Her raw emotions and truthful words will inspire the heart of any mother. 

Day 20- Plan Your Meals

So last month I wrote here about how I do my dinner Menu Planning.  Writing out what we are going to be having and getting my shopping finished all on one day, has saved me so much stress and frustration and time. 

It seems like, all my family wants to do is EAT!!  When it comes to planning school lunches, breakfast and snacks, I felt like I was always stuggling not to feed the kids the same things everyday.

I finally decided to make a list of several choices both my kids and I agree on for each meal/snack time.  Then when I am making my weekly menu I use this for reference.     I can't tell you what a timesaver this has been.  Here is what I came up with.

Here is the recipe for Toad in a hole and Bird's Nest, if you have never heard of those, I assure you I am not feeding my kids recipes from Fear Factor.

For a menu planning sheet like my Facebook page and look in the tab free stuff.

For me, making the effort to plan our meals,takes away the stress of meals and we tend to eat out less, which is good for the bank and our health.  

This is part of a 31 day series, to read more click here.

Day 19 - Time Off

We all need some time off.  I already discussed date night.  But this time I am talking about moms and dads having their own time off.  A girl's night out for mom or a day of shopping.  A golf or fishing day for Dad.    Parenting is HARD work and its a 24/7 job.  Without a break, we will go crazy!

There are some problems that arise with individual time off.  Like, if a spouse is working, you kind of  think they already have time off, because they aren't listening to Barney all day and dealing with the tantrums of a 2 year old.   When my boys were toddlers, my husband worked ALL THE TIME.  The thought of giving him a day or night off, sent me in a tizzie!  So, I get that, now my kids are older and easier and if he wants to go fishing, I don't mind.  So, you have to work out the time away, as a couple and what works best for you, in your current season of life.    But we all need a break, a time to appreciate the family we have and recharge our batteries.  Even the working spouse needs a break from work and family.

The times either of us get away, we come back happier, rested and relaxed, with in turns creates family bliss!

This is a 31 day series, to catch up, click here.

Day 18- Don't Be Afraid Of Counseling

While writing about creating family bliss, I have been assuming things are already peachy keen with your marriage , yourself esteem and no major problems with your children.  I don't assume with my marriage or anyone elses that problems will never arise.  Or that my kids, in all stages in life will behave the exact way I want them too, because they won't.  Growing up, I don't think it was very 'June Cleaver-ish' to admit you were in counseling.  If you did go, I'm sure it was hush hush and you drove to a different town. 

I have gone to counseling a few times,  when different issues arose that I felt I just needed to talk and get someone elses perspective.  I was nervous going into it, but guess what, I absolutely loved it!  When else do YOU get to talk to someone and not feel like you are giving TMI, or this person will remember it and always judge you or the person you are talking about.  It is also great, to get a point of view from someone who doesn't know the other party, or you, your whole life.  The options are endless when it comes to seeking help.  The days of feet up, laying on a couch, in a shrinks office have been replaced, with spa like settings, or options like art therapy or yoga and movement therapy.

The couple times I have seeked advice for a situation, I have felt like I was talking to an old friend.  I had a cup of tea, I sat in a relaxing room with a fountain dripping in the background, the smell of lemongrass permeating the air.  I would go back every week if I just didn't have to pay for a sitter or a copay.   I got sound advice, felt great that I had gotten my worries and concerns off my chest and went home happy and satisfied.  I remember thinking this is great!

 If the thought of spilling your guts to a stranger leaves you feeling uncomfortable, talk to your pastor at church or another trusted individual.  The bottom line is "stuff" happens and when it does don't be afraid to talk to someone about.  Keeping things in, only builds up to resentment and dis-ease in your life.  

Day 17- Make Sure To Spend Quality Time With Each Child

With the busy lives most of us have,  this is a hard one to make happen on a regular basis.  But, when the situation develops that one of us can spend some quality time with each of the kids, they absolutely love it.  It doesn't have to be something big.  My oldest son loves to go to the store with just me, or run errands with Dad on a Saturday.  We have even started having my husband meet me at church on Wednesday and him taking my little girl home for "daddy daughter time," while I wait for the boys to finish up Awana's.

When I was growing up, I remember my Dad taking each one of me and my sisters out for dinner every few weeks.  It was special time I remember looking forward to as a kid.   Anytime, you feel like you are the only one your parents are paying attention to, is important to a child.

 In our rush, rush society we live in, where people are constantly getting emails and text messages,  we very rarely take time to talk to each other.  I'm great at reminding everyone what needs to be done and half listening when I make dinner and my kids are telling me stories, but to just sit and focus on them, happens less then I would like to admit.  I have found, even just reading a book alone with each of my kids is something they love.  No one interrupts their comments or shushes them.  We read at the pace they prefer and all the focus is on them and they really love it. 

Remember kids, don't need lots of bells and whistles, when it comes with special time with mom and dad.  Go for a walk or bike ride, make cookies together, play a game or get an ice cream cone.  Make sure you make it a priority to spend one on one time with each of your children, they will enjoy it more then you know. 

This is part of a 31 day series, to read more click here.

What I Wore....

Well, we are half way thru October and wanted to take a little break from my 31 Days of Creating Family Bliss series to show you what I've been wearing.  I am really loven the cooler temps and wearing some old favorites.  I will be linking up at The Pleated Poppy and Dear Abbey Leigh.

1.  Green Tee-Old Navy, Sweater-Old navy, Jeans-7 For All Mankind, Grey Bootie-DSW

2.  Military Jacket-Old Navy, Black Cashmere Turtleneck-Victoria's Secret, Skirt-Stein Mart, Wedge          Boots- Cloud 9 (my shoes I have, so comfy and cute) my little guy hopped in, you can read more about him here.

3.  Poppy  Button down- Calvin Klein, Black Swing Jacket-Kohl's, Houndstooth Leggings- H&M, Bubble Necklace-FB Deal, Suede Flats-Ugg

4.  Striped Sweater-Old Navy, Poppy Skinny Cords-Target, Black and White Tori Burch flats

Day 16-Yes, I'm gonna go there!

I'm not gonna lie, the thought of broaching this subject makes me blush, especially since my parents are readers, but it wouldn't be right leaving it out either.  Part of the creating family bliss equation includes, relations with your hubby.  Not many marriages can become blissful with out it.  I am leaving this one up to the professionals.  Check out  Sheila Wray Gregoire post here, to help jump start this area in your life.  She provides, real, christian based advice to couples, on how to keep the sparks alive, and have a healthy relationship with your spouse. 

Day 15: Pray

Let's face it ladies, being a mom is hard stuff.  Anything that happens to your child feels 10 times worse for you.  The pangs my heart feels when something happens to my children, whether it be, they fall and get hurt or they don't get invited to the birthday party, are downright horrible.  This is something I did not anticipate as a mom and the bad thing is I don't think it EVER goes away! 

I am a worrier by nature, but I took that trait to a whole new level when I had children.  Whether to vaccinate or not,  feeding them organic vs non-organic, what kind of world they are growing up in, if you really sit and think about it all, you can get yourself really worked up.  One thing I realized, about 3 years ago, is make my decsions based on the knowlege I have, then pray for peace with whatever it is I am going through. 

I have been in situations where I have made my self sick with worry and concern over my children and when I finally surrender it to God, I feel an amazing peace over me. 

Listen, I am going to make mistakes as a parent, my kids are gonna get sick, get hurt, have their hearts broken, get picked on and who knows what else.  But I am constantly praying for them and that comforts me to know God has a plan for us all, EVEN in the hard times. 

I look back on my life and love seeing the growth I have made during difficult times.  I try and remember that when I am going through a trial, that one day, I will see the good in this situation. 

I love the books   Power of a Praying Parent  and Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.  I have found both these books useful in so many situations as a mother and wife. 

So, pray for your family ALL THE TIME just like it says in Romans 12:12  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 

This is part of a 31 day series, catch up  here.

Day-14 Inspiration from other Moms- Stephanie Neilson

Have you heard of Stephanie Neilson of The NieNieDialogs Her story of faith, hope and making the most of what life brings, is enough to inspire any mother and family.    I have not read this book, but you can believe it's on my list.  This is part of a 31 day series, read more here.

Day 13- Have Other Interests

We all need a chance to get away from the grind of being a parent.  It's an exhausting job and without a break, it can leave you feeling resentful, worn out and cranky.  When my boys were toddlers, I rarely did anything without them.  My husband worked long hours and we did not have family around for me to ever get much of a break.   Just the last few months, since I have started this blog really, I have loved having something, other then my family, to peek my interest.  Being able to have a creative outlet, has been a wonderful way to get out of the stay-at-home mommy rut, I was in. 

I encourage you to take time and focus on something you enjoy: running, blogging, a part-time job at a retail store, cooking classes, scrap booking, volunteering or yoga.  It has made a world of difference in my attitude as a stay at home mom.  I feel much more satisfied, happier and well rounded, then when it was just family, family, family!

What do you do, that is not family related, for your well being?


This is part of a 31 day series, you can read more here.

Day-12 Be Consistent

Nothing will make you lose your credibility as a parent faster, then when you are not consistent.  This is one of my largest hurdles as a parent.  The kids will be loud  and on my last nerve, they will do one little thing to send me over the edge and boom, I have taken TV away for a week.  The moment I say it, I feel regret.  Their screen time is just as important to me as it is to them.  Instead of letting them think they are off the hook, I tell them they can earn it back for good behavior.  It's a horrible cycle to be in! 

I knew I had to change my ways when, my oldest , started keeping track of everything I said.  I would often hear something like this, " Uh mom, we can't make a cake tonight, you took dessert away for a week, because we didn't clean up our room, remember?"  It would drive me crazy, I had the parent police on my tail!! 

What I have found helpful is to have set punishments for certain behaviors.  For instance, you call you sibling names, no dessert or you don't listen the first time, extra chores.  Write out your desired punishments and place them where the kids can see them.  Then in the heat of the moment, you won't lose all sanity and take away TV for a week and the kids will no what to expect, if they choose to break the rules. 

Being consistent is a key characteristic in a good parent, but I feel one of the hardest to attain.  Do you have any tips for keeping your credibility as a parent?


This is part of a 31 day series, you can read more here.

God Just Blew My Socks Off!

Don't you just love when God, blows your socks off!  When something happens and it turns out 10x better then you ever imagined.  If you told me 3 years ago that I would be blogging about my middle son, making 3 goals and 5 saves as a goalie, in his soccer game at the Y, I wouldn't have believed it!  In fact, doctor's told me it wouldn't happen, to quote the developmental pediatrican, "Don't even think about putting your son in organized sports, kids like him don't get the "team " aspect.  Well, Dr. Rueban....once again, my sweet boy has proved you wrong!

I'm not going into details about my son's health and developmental history, it's a great story and deserves more time and details then I can give today.  But, most of my readers know it and they will get it.

This is an amazing week for my family!  The only bad part, I wasn't there to see it.  I was at the first half of the game and this all happened in the second half.  I had to take my oldest to Scouts.  But this was a HUGE moment for my husband, that will live in his memory forever!  Jeff was coaching his team and I don't think he would have believed it if he didn't see it. My little guy was engaged and took charge, he owned that ball! 

For so many years, my heart was filled with such fear and worry for this child, it is an amazing feeling to have those feelings replaced with pride, hope and encouragement. This kid just keeps amazing me more and more everyday!!! 


Has God ever knocked your socks off?

Day 11- Take Care of YOU!

For me this was a hard one, especially when my kids were babies.  Take care of myself, who has the time!  Between dishes, laundry, feeding the family, nursing the baby and  picking up the house my needs easily got pushed to the back burner.

I will be honest with you when I had 2 kids under 2, I didn't do much for myself in the taking care of myself department, for about 3 years I feel like I WORE MYSELF OUT!!  Then I started to think, "what if I get sick, what will happen to the family then!"  I don't have time for health problems and to feel worn out all the time.  So, I started taking care of myself.  Some of the things I did were to make sure I sit down and eat my meals (instead of using that time the kids were sitting still to unload the dishwasher) take vitamins, drink water throughout the day, exercise, sit down and read or nap for 30 min and NOT feel guilty about it.

Also make sure you are getting enough sleep.  A sleep deprived mommy, is grumpy, short-tempered and easily agitated and NO ONE likes that.  A few nights ago, I was exhausted,  I still had laundry that needed folded and put away, ironing and dishes to wash.  But, I left it all, knowing it will still be waiting for me the next day.  I woke up the next morning and those daunting tasks, suddenly didn't seem so bad, since I was rested and felt good. 

Once I made my health a priority, I started feeling so much better, less fatigue, less headaches, more energy.  It is so important to make sure we are getting the things we need too, to feel our best and give our all to our family.  Make a list of the things you do for your health benefit each day.  If the list is sparse, make sure you make your well being a priority too! 

This is part of a 31 day series, Creating Family Bliss, to read more click here.

Day 10- The Early Bird Gets the Worm

I know its hard to pull yourself out of bed before the kiddos, especially if they are early risers, but this one is a must in my book!  The days I get up and have a cup of coffee, do a devotion, have a little "me" time before everyone gets up, always put me in a good mood!  I feel like I have had some quiet time and don't get so agitated by the constant demands a family can have. 

If you are not a morning person, this may seem impossible, but I can honestly say, once I figured this one out, I became a MUCH  happier mama!  Nothing gets me in a crabby mood more quickly, then waking up to a toddler demanding a "ba-ba" at 6:30, or 2 rowdy brothers already whooping it up and making a mess before daybreak.  All, I can think of is "it's ALREADY starting and I haven't even had coffee yet!"  However, if I have been up for 30 mins, had time to ENJOY that cup of joe, collect my thoughts about the day ahead, I don't seem so bothered.


Since, starting this series, I must say, I have really been focusing on all these ideas more then usual, but attitude mainly.  Last night in bed, my husband commented that he has never seen our family seem more calm and happy! His attitude has been happier, the kids seem to mind better and it just seems more blissful around here!   He knows I am doing this series, but is not a daily reader of my blog, (at least I don't think he is).  Ladies, we can make a difference in our family!  Our attitude can change the dynamic of our family!!

 How about you, have you been trying any of these suggestion for creating family bliss, are they working?

If your new to the series, catch up here,

Day 9 - Routine is a good thing!

Since my kids were babies we have had a morning and bedtime routine.  I believe this has helped tremendously in getting to bed in an orderly fashion and getting off to school without yelling "hurry up"!!  The kids know what is expected of them and for us, the kids don't seem to argue if the sheet of paper says to do something, rather then it coming from mama's mouth!

 According to the Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning, Studies have documented that schedules and routines influence children's emotional, cognitive, and social development. Predictable and consistent schedules in preschool classrooms help children feel secure and comfortable. Also, schedules and routines help children understand the expectations of the environment and reduce the frequency of behavior problems, such as tantrums and acts of aggression.

We do this with after school chores too.  I just make a simple checklist of what needs to be done, they mark it off when they finish and we are all satisfied with the result.  I blogged about our kids routines here and you can download your own schedules and edit to fit your family.  I have also included a basic bedtime routine with pictures for toddlers.  Just like my Facebook page to download copies.

All of my kids seem to like the sense of security a routine brings and for me, the less bedtime and morning battles, the happier the family.  Do you all have set routines? 

Day 8- Get Organized

Nothing stresses out a mommy more (and a family for that matter), then when you can't find things.  Last week I blogged about organizing my office.  Just a few months ago I got a file system started and in place and it has been life changing.  Knowing where every single bill, medical record or insurance policy is,  instead of a large stack of paper piled around here and there has helped our family so much.  Now, when the hubby comes home and needs a bank statement from 4 months ago....easy, when the kids need medical records....easy.

Being organized is not easy for me.  In the past,  I have been great about getting a space looking organized, but I never maintained it and would have to re-organized every few months.   The last 10 months I have really focused on organizing my home and maintianing it and it has been a gamechanger for us.

How does one start....start small, make a list of the areas that drive you the most crazy and dedicate 15-20 minutes to work on it.  It won't happen over night, but if you work a little here and there it can be done and I promise it will be worth it.  If I have the time, I also love tackling a big area in a weekend.  The satisfaction of an entire room being organized and clean is worth a couple late nights in my book. 

Some of my favorite blogs for organizing are I Heart Organizing and A Bowl Full Of Lemons.  I Heart will get you motivated by how lovely all of Jen's home looks.  Lemons, will get you organized with lists and challenges and pretty pics too.  Both women are amazing!  Also, The Dollar Store, is a great spot for plastic containers and bins for organizing.

Go for it!!  This one, while very time consuming at first, will make a big impact on your family.   The peace of mind and pride you will feel, when your home stays cleaner and you can easily find things is priceless. 

This is part of a series,  31 Days of Creating Family Bliss, click here to read more.

Day 7- Inspiration from other moms

Every Sunday as part of my 31 Days of Creating Family Bliss series, I am going to share words of wisdom from other blogs, that I have found and often go back and reread, when parenting gets hard.  I feel as a mom I often learn the most from other moms, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy, this is really good stuff!

Don't Carpe Diem by Glennon at Momastery


If your new to the series, you can catch up here.

Day 6- Family Time

Just like mom and dad need time, so does the whole family.  My kids LOVE it when we have have family time.   Once a week we try and devote an evening to the whole family.  Last week, we made pizza and decorated cupcakes, then played charades.  Sometimes, we read from a book, or watch a movie together.  The point is full on focus on the family.  The kids love to see mom and dad play and be silly and it is always fun to see your kids laughing and having fun.  Games are also a great learning tool for kids, they learn problem solving, sportsmanship and taking turns.

Spending time with your kids when they are older may be even  more important.  Here's a great article about the importance of spending time with your teen.  So much of parenting includes heavy topics  its good to have fun relaxed time, so kids, especially teens can earn your trust and you can be aware of issues going on in their life.
 

Last week, when I wrote here about limiting activities, one reader Jesse,  commented that "my kids are a bit older and limiting their activities is really hard. Sports and other activities really creep in on family time, so we try our best to use that time AS family-relaxing time the best we can. Packing picnics for soccer games, hanging out by the pool during hockey tournaments, and reading aloud to each other on those long drives to away-games all help us bond and gives the kids a chance to chill."  I love that Jesse uses that time as family time too.  That's a great idea Jess, thanks for sharing it!

Do you all have any activities your family loves?


This is part of a 31 day series about creating family bliss, to read more click here.

Day 5- Date Night

We all know its important to keep the sparks lit with your spouse.  I know all too well, how hard it is to get away, especially when you have got babies at home, but your kids will thank you, when you have a happy marriage.

If you can't afford a sitter, or schedules don't permit an evening out.  Something we have done in the past is, put the kids to bed an hour eariler (this works well in the winter) then ordering take out and watching a movie.  Play a game, watch your wedding video, or cook together.  I would steer clear having your date night convo include heavy topics like finances, just have a good time.

Maybe you could also trade with a friend watching each others kids.  To often we make it more then it has to be, but even getting out for a quick ice cream or cup of coffee is better for your relationship, then always having kids around. One time I remember putting the kids in the car, letting them watch a movie and taking a drive and talking. 

Just like we make time for our kids, we MUST make time for our man too.   20 years down the road, when all the kids are gone, you will be happy you took the time to nurture that relationship.

This is part of a series 31 Days of creating Family Bliss. 

Day 4- Moms need Support

When my boys were 2 and a newborn we had just moved to a new state and I new not a soul in the town we moved too.  My son was not a healthy baby, he had severe acid reflux and was in the 1% for height and weight.  Doctors were concerned about his size and his reflux was so bad we had to make weekly trips to the pediatrician for weight checks.  Little did I know, that was only the beginning of a VERY long 3 year time period, where I needed lots of support.  My husband had a new very demanding job and I was stressed!  I made it a point to find a local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group.  It made all the difference.

Having support at all stages of motherhood is important.  Husbands are wonderful, but a husband is not a mommy and we need to hash things out with other mommies sometime.  Your husband can't relate to you about breastfeeding, the crazy changes your body goes through after birth or what it means to be a mother.

Support is essential and I don't know how I would have made it through that time period in my life if it weren't for the mommy friends I had during that time.  (I want to give a Shout Out to my Clinton girls, I love you all so much, did I have a rough time in that town or what!!)

Below are organizations I have been associated with during our various moves.  They have all offered great support and I made wonderful friends through them all. 

MOPS
Mothers and More
Mom's Club

Do you belong to a mom's group?

This is part of a 31 days series about creating Family Bliss.

Day 3- Apologize

We have all had our moments, when the stress of the endless to-do list, whiny kids and sleepless nights get the best of us and we snap.  One of your children is trying to be helpful and is pouring milk for his sister and spills it all over himself and the floor.  He has to change, the floor needs mopped and now you need to add 'go to the store' to your already jammed packed day.   Not to mention, you are already five minutes late getting the kids to school!  The good intentions your child had, go out the window and you snap.  You shout louder then you know you should and make your child feel bad, when all he was doing was trying to help.  You immediately feel awful you lost your temper, so now what?

I have found it important to be the first to admit when you were out of line, with your family.  Children need to learn adults make mistakes too and sometimes we even lose our cool.  By apologizing,  we are modeling appropriate behavior for our children and teaching them the importance of admitting when we are wrong.   We are also showing them we respect them enough to admit to our short comings.   Talking about the bad choice you made with your child, also helps start the healing you will need too.

 Losing it, is a part of parenting no one likes, but at some time or another its bound to happen.  Be the first to admit your wrong doing and learn from your mistake.  Remember, there is always Room to Grow! 


This is part of a 31 Day series about creating Family Bliss, to read more click here.

*Please note, by losing it, I am referring to shouting at your children, not physically abusing them in anyway, if you feel you can't control your temper, please seek additional help.

Day 2-Limit the Activities and Screen Time...Kids NEED freetime

On to day 2 of 31 Days of Creating Family Bliss.  Nothing gets a family more grumpy, then one that is on the go all the time.  Everyone is rushed, no one feels like they get any down time and important functions like family dinners get pushed to the back burner.  When you have more then one kid, it get's even more hectic.  My preference is to have only 2 nights during the school week when we have to be out and about for extracurricular activities. 

Kids are pushed to the limit these days and I think we often forget how important, play and free time are to their development.   I remember playing school and house with my sisters and friends for hours.  I remember spending lots of time outdoors, making forts and collecting worms.    My parents certainly didn't play with me, I don't even remember asking them too.  Now, if my kids are not at an activity, or in front of the TV or Ipad, they are bored.  While sometimes, I have to get them started in the "pretend play"  they end up having a great time.  

 I often feel pressured by society to have my kids be in 10 different after school activities, or give them supplemental homework, after they have spent 8 hours in school, just to keep them ahead.   I feel like I am doing them a favor by letting them play outside after school and be kids,  instead of shuffling them around to different activities all evening.  Here is a link to a very informative article about the importance of free play for children.  All Work and No Play, Why Your Kids Are Anxious and Depressed.

I also have to compete everyday with the screen, be it the computer, Ipad, or TV, my kids LOVE screen time.  I found that by setting a timer during the school week, they watch about 30 minutes after school, while they eat a snack, then they are fine with turning it off to do something else.  I recently found this book, Last Child in the Woods:Saving Our Children From Nature Defict Disorder By:Richard Louv , which I have not read  (I'm on a waiting list at the library)but am very intrigued by.  It dicusses the link between kids not getting enough playtime in nature and the rise of depression, anxiety and ADHD in children. Since, I have not read this yet, you may be interested in reading  this review.   

What an interesting correlation, do you think there is a connection?  Do you limit your kids screen time and extracurricular activities?

Day 1: Attitude is Everything!

We have been hearing it since we were young, the Golden Rule, "Treat others the way you want to be treated."  For day one, in my creating Family Bliss Challenge, the first thing to do is check your attitude at the door.  Think about it, how are you coming across to your husband and kids, are you crabby, resentful, annoyed?  It's time to physically tell your self, it's going to be a great day.  Yes, I said tell yourself.  The mind is a very powerful tool.  What we think we believe.

Joel Osteen says in, Daily Readings from Your Best Life Now, "Programming your mind for success doesn't happen automatically.  Each day you must choose to expect good things to happen to you."  Tell your self something like, "I am not going to come across angry or annoyed at my family today.  I am so grateful to have them."  Ralph Waldo Emerson says, "The person who sends out positive thoughts activates the world around him positively and draws to himself positive results,"  Momma's this is the key, we set the tone.  If we can be calm, happy and helpful to our family, then they will return the favor to us as well.  It may take longer for them, but I truly believe setting a good example for how your want others to act, is one of the key roles in creating family bliss.

I read a great book called A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted by Will Bowen.  His idea is really quite simple, complain less and others around you will do the same and by complaining less, you will think more positively about your life.  He suggests wearing a bracelet, or rubber band and moving it from one wrist to the other, each time you complain.  This exercise helps make you aware of your complaints.   After I put a rubber band on for one day, I was amazed at how many complaints came through my head.  But the thing I noticed most, was if I just rephrased  the comment I wanted to make, to more of a statement, then I didn't sound so naggy and guess what, my family listened to me.  For instance, when I walked in the kitchen and saw toys all over the floor, the dishwasher needing unloaded and dinner waiting to be prepared, the first thing I wanted to do was complain.  "No one ever puts the dishes away, why are  toys everywhere."  Instead, since I was mindful of not complaining, I asked to kids to help me, by presenting it as a game and guess what they helped, without complaining!  Later that night, my husband had been to a NFL football game all day,  when he returned, I didn't complain about the kids behavior, or that he was lucky he got the day off, like I usually do.  That night he helped fold and put away laundry, WITHOUT being asked to, that is a major key, my husband is very helpful, but usually I have to ask for help. 

So for today.  Keep your attitude in check, stay positive and uplifting, no complaining.  I put together a page with uplifting quotes about attitude, print it off and hang it where you can easily see it and be reminded that attitude is everything!  Just friend my Face Book page and look under free stuff.  We can do this ladies!