Last night at church, during women's bible study, the minister’s wife introduced us to a women who just
started going to our church and was going through hard times, she had been
living in her car and had just gotten an apartment, but had nothing. She requested
that if we had any household items we could donate to her, then to bring them to the
church.
I immediately thought of
a kitchen table we didn’t use and a TV that was sitting in the basement we
wanted to sell on Craig’s List. After
church, I thought I would contact the minister’s wife to see the best way to get
larger items to the women. However, on
my way to pick up the kids, I saw the women and thought I would just talk to her
about it. She said she had a car and could
meet me tomorrow to pick up the TV. She didn’t
seem interested in the table. We
arranged to meet the next morning.
I hauled the TV and an old TV stand to my car and went to meet her this morning at church. She was waiting in the parking lot when I arrived. She helped me transfer the TV and stand, then
she asked if I knew of any places that offered services for gas cards and cell
phone service to those in need. I told her no, but I would ask around. I asked if she had any family nearby and she
said no, she had recently left her abusive husband, she had no children.
She commented the TV was
heavy and I asked her if she would have anyone to help her get it in her
apartment. She said, “No.” I quickly glanced at her car to see a broken
window replaced with plastic and knew she couldn’t leave the TV in her
car. However, it also crossed my mind,
that I, who weighs 100 pounds, carried the TV up a flight of stairs from
my basement and loaded it in my car by myself. I really was not comfortable with going to her
apartment to help her (I had my 2 year old with me), but I offered to follow
her home and help her carry it in. She
said she had to stop by another church and pick up some things before she went
home. I said “ok” and I got in my car. I looked for some cash to give her for gas,
but I barely had a dollar in change. The pastor of our church pulled into the
lot and spoke with her while I was waiting to follow her home.
While, I was in my car, I immediately started
thinking of a way out. She told me where
she lived and I knew enough to know it wasn’t a desirable part of town. Call
me a snob, judgmental or paranoid, but I was a little panicky. I have
watched enough Lifetime movies, to imagine her abusive ex-husband angry and waiting
for her at her apartment. I also thought of my daughter in the backseat, what was I going to do with her if
this was a “rough” neighborhood while I carry in a TV. I wanted her in the car, in case I needed to make
a quick get away, but I couldn’t leave her in the car in a “rough” neighborhood.”
While I was waiting for the women to finish speaking with the pastor, I immediately called my husband, but he didn’t answer. I needed someone to talk some sense into me and to be informed of where I was going. Alone, with my thoughts, the thought crossed my mind to tell her I had gotten a call and had to leave, but I didn’t. Instead I prayed!
A few minutes later, she got in her car and
started down the road. We had not been
driving for more than five minutes, when she pulls to the side of the road and
gets out of the car. She walks up to me
and says, she didn’t need me to come with her anymore, she needed to stop and get gas. She thanked
me for the TV and got in her car.
I must
admit I was relieved, but I also felt shameful.
Should I have offered to go to the gas station with her and fill up
her tank, then gone to her apartment and help her carry in the TV. Was God answering my prayers or asking me to
do more, give more, pull me out of my comfort zone? Honestly, I think if
I did not have my toddler with me, I would have been willing to offer
more. But I felt the need to make a safe
decision for my child too. Is my fearful attitude, stopping me from showing God's love?
What do you
think? What would you have done?